Irish Guy Declares War Against Bin Laden

Osama Bin Laden is sitting in his cave wondering whom to invade next when
his telephone rang.

“Hallo, Mr. Laden?” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Paddy down at
the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we
are officially declaring war on you!”

“Well, Paddy,” Osama replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?”

“Right now,” said Paddy, after a moment’s calculation, “there is myself, my
cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the
pub. That makes eight!”

“I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to
move on my command.”

“Begorra!” said Paddy. “I’ll have to ring you back!”

The next day, Paddy called. “Mr. Laden, the war is still on! We have
managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”

“And what equipment would that be, Paddy?” Osama asked.

“Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy’s farm tractor.”

Osama laughed. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000
armored personnel carriers. Also, I’ve increased my army to 1& * million men
since we last spoke.”

“Saints preserve us!” said Paddy. “I’ll have to get back to you.”

Paddy rang back the next day. “Mr. Laden, the war is still on! We have
managed to get ourselves airborne! We’ve modified Harrigan’s ultra-light
with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub
have joined us as well!”

Osama was silent for a minute then said, “Paddy, I must inform you that I
have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is
surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” said Paddy; “I’ll have to ring you back.”

Paddy called back the next morning. “Top o’ the mornin’, Mr. Laden! I am
sorry to tell you that we’ve had to call off the war.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Osama. “Why the change of mind?”

“Well,” said Paddy, “we’ve all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and
decided there’s no way we can feed two million prisoners.”