Is Your Child Being Bullied?

Is your child being bullied?

What is bullying?

Bullying can happen to every single one of us – old, young, big, small, plump or thin. Sadly, there are many different types of bullying, these include: physical (attacking, punching, beating), verbal (mocking the child) or very rarely sexual (forcing the child to perform some sort of sexual act that they object to). All of these forms of bullying can, and will, severely affect the child inside and out.

How can I tell if my child is being bullied?

It is generally very difficult to tell if your child is being bullied, however some symptoms to look out for are:

• Unexplained cuts and bruises (when asked, your child may try to quickly make an excuse about where the injuries came from).
• Your child trying to avoid school as much as possible.
• A change in the usual behaviour pattern of your child – he/she may become aggresive, argumentative, quieter than usual, demanding, upset for no apparent reason or over insignificant things, more ‘clingy’ towards you etc.
• Your child becoming upset at the thought of having to go to school.

What can I do if my child is being bullied?

An anti-bullying policy was enforced in all schools in 1999 and every school works hard to try and solve bullying issues. However, some is very discrete and difficult for teachers to notice, so there is still the possibility that your child could be suffering in silence.

• Some children find it very difficult or embarrasing to completely open up to an adult. Also, some believe that telling an adult will develop the problem even further so decide to keep it to theirselves – whether this is the situation or not, casually mention to your child that you are there for him, want to support him and are there to talk about anything if they want to. Try not to make a big deal out of this statement, as there is a possibility that the child will worry that you know about the bullying already. You can do this by saying the statement in a ‘light and breezy’ tone, or if you have other children, wait until they are all together and mention it to all of them. If you have tried this, are aware that your child is being bullied and he/she still hasn’t spoken to you about the situation, then reassure the child once more that you are there for them and simply explain to them that they have seemed a little down lately and ask them if they want to chat.
• If your child does tell you that they are being bullied, reassure them that they are a good person and do not deserve to be bullied. Tell them that it is not their fault and they have not caused the bullying theirselves and talk to them for a while about what you can both do to solve the problem.
• It is vitally important to take your child seriously if they tell you that theae being bullied. The issue may seem trivial, or the problem may seem easy to solve to you – however, as you can tell, this is genuinely affecting your child so make sure to support them no matter what.
• If other school students are bullying your child, the school has a responsibility to sort the problem out.
• If your child is being bullied at school, encourage him to talk to his teacher or form tutor as well as to you.
• Contact the school and arrange an appointment where you and the appropriate teacher (teacher that knows all of the children in your child’s year the most) can sit down and discuss the best way to deal with the issue.
• During the appointment, make sure that you address the issue calmly. Obviously, you will be naturally angry, but forcing this anger onto the staff will not do any good. However, if you feel that the problem is not being dealt with correctly it may be neccesary to contact a senior member of staff.
• If your child tells you about being bullied, write down all of the incidents, including dates and times. This will be useful to take to the school as evidence if the bullying continues.
• The bullying may not neccesarily take place at school. The bullying could be done by another school member – if this is the case, schools may need to work together to resolve the problem.
• Parents of bullied children could get together to form an anti-bullying group – this will create support for the children but also offer plentiful support for the parents.

There is lots of support for bullied and children and parents of bullied children – childline is a helpful service that provides around the clock help. Remember, as long as you are there to comfort your child, the problems should soon decease when you deal with it together.