Karna, My Son: Chapter Nine

Gandhari’s laughter tinkled across the room. I had been chatting with her for an hour now – indeed, the first time I ever did so. When I had left Hastinapur, she had been married barely for two years. I used to maintain a respectable distance then.

That day, when Gandhari had sent her personal messenger asking for my permission to meet me, I was happy. It had been a month after Pandu’s funeral ceremonies. We were slowly getting acclimatized to the new home and the new circumstances. True, Hastinapur palace itself wasn’t new, but many things had changed since we had set out from there.

As she came in, Gandhari hugged and asked me if I was comfortable. Then we got talking about old times. She told me how she used to love the rugged and rustic charm of Gandhara that her father Suvala ruled. Then she talked about how Bhishma had sent proposals to her father. Though she described the events factually without coloring it with emotions, it was easy for me to see her anguish that she had been a pawn in the process. Yes, nobody refused a Hastinapur offer even if it was for a blind king. And a daughter had to respect a commitment made by her father, even if he did so without consulting her. So a carefree life amidst the Hindukush mountains and lush countryside had to be given up for a blindfolded life in the confines of a cheerless, colorless, albeit expansive, palace.

She said all this with a cheerful face. “But why did you blindfold yourself?” I couldn’t resist asking.

“Oh, Dhritarashtra was born blind. He has never seen the world. I wanted see the world as he would see it.”

“But you could have been his eyes by keeping them open,” I suppressed the words that rose to my lips.

The same thought was to occur to me several times in the future as well. If she had kept her eyes open, she would have been able to see her hundred children grow. She could have seen them take the first faltering steps, seen the subtle messages in their eyes when they fell down, got pushed, or lost in a game when they were kids, or seen the looks of anger, deception and revenge when they were older.

Presently, my children entered the room. They touched my feet and Gandhari’s by turns. Their faces were flushed with excitement.