MEN: More Efforts Needed
by I never fully understood the oppression of woman in the past, and the oppression that still continues today. I have learned that now is my time to act! I am stepping up to the plate and taking the responsibility for my rights. This means that I must refuse to let others do my thinking, talking, and naming for me; it means I will use what I have learned and respect my own brains and instincts.
After a long day at work, a young mother picks her three children up from daycare, races to the grocery store to buy items needed for dinner. Upon arrival to home from the grocery store, she helps each of her children use the restroom and also changes a diaper. Then she attends to their personal needs and desires, quickly starts preparing dinner, and tries to tidy up the house. Once dinner is finally ready, she calls her children down for dinner and they wait for Dad to come home. Upon arriving, Dad sits down to the dinner table; he immediately begins to complain about his hard day at the office. When dinner is over, Mom does the dishes, cleans the kitchen, and starts a load of laundry. Meanwhile, Dad has grabbed a beer and is now sitting comfortably in his lazy chair and has turned on a football game. Mom immediately attends to her children; she plays with them, helps with homework, bathes them and then tucks them into bed. After her children are in bed, she starts her ironing and folding of the laundry. Around 10:00 p.m., her husband finally comes upstairs ready to go to bed.
This story, although slightly exaggerated by some, is the story of their day to day life. When surveyed, two-thirds of husbands reported that they shared childrearing and house duties equally with their wives. These statements were “wildly inconsistent” when compared with the wives’ surveys. One woman replied: “I do my half, I do half of (my husband’s half), and the rest doesn’t get done”. When asked why women are responsible for “extra” tasks, most men responded that the extra household chores and caring for children are the woman’s personal choice, not a joint responsibility.
Interesting that when men do the dishes, it’s called “helping”, but when women do the dishes its called “standard of life”. Where has this distinction come from in our society?
This distinction has been enculturated into our society in large by the Christian culture. Many Christians believe that the woman’s place is in the home, tending to the needs of her children and husband and also “keeping house”. It is believed that women are to be “subordinate to men in the domestic household”. Even though times have changed and many women are working full-time to provide for their families, society still expects a “kept house” and that the needs of children and husbands be met simultaneously. According to the demands of society, “keeping the house” and tending to the needs of husband and children is a full-time job. Yet even with these demands placed upon the feminine gender, men wonder why women feel that there is an inequality?
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Post CommentTanya Urban
On May 5, 2009 at 6:27 pm
It’s true that the woman is expected to take care of the home in the traditional family structure. But this article is just man bashing. In the same traditional setting men had important responsibilities as well, such as- go to work (work in the field, or other physical type of work), go to war, protect his family from physical harm or social stigma, be a teacher and educator to his children, religious center within his family, the provider of all physical needs to his famly. It only made sense that the woman would be the one who took care of the family and the home. In the time before birth control, women had to have children- only the woman could take care of her children (breast feeding was the only option)
Today’s world is changing, gender roles become blurry, and just as women step away from the home, many men discover the joy of raising their children. The truth is, that though men and women should be equal, they will never be the same. Our brains work differently, our bodies have different capabilities. Women’s nurturing instincts will always be stronger, her attachment to her babies is partly chemically based.
When the house work is not done properly, the woman tends to pick it up, because she understands the importance of a clean house, whereas a man often does not. If you are looking for a proof just look at the condition of single men’s places. In other words, men are just not good at those things. I think it is more of a matter of agreement between the two partners in domestic matters rather than what the society expects.