Osama’s Fatal Technology Addiction!

One little known fact about Osama Bin Laden is his addiction to modern technology. Despite condemning such things as “vices of the west” he secretly had a stash of hi-tech equipment stored at his house in Abbottabad.

Such items included HD video cameras, 3D televisions, laptops, and every game console known to man, ranging from an Atari to even a stolen version of Sony’s secret project the Playstation X. It was however a previous Sony product that proved to be his downfall.

After a few months hiding and in isolation Osama had become depressed and frustrated. He didn’t like it when it was hot, and sand and begun to reach areas that even he didn’t know existed. That familiar Friday feeling, where you just want to spend the weekend spoiling yourself.

Well this is exactly what he did. After a lovely home cooked meal he retreated to his rumpus room, searched through his consoles and found his brand new Playstation 3 (only recently bought after his Xbox developed a red circle of death) After attaching it to his 50inch TV, he reached for Red Dead Redemption and settled down for an evening of gutting horses and shooting cowboys.

Little did Osama know, Sony have been having serious hacking problems with the PSN(Playstation Network), resulting in the theft of thousands of customers personnal details. When prompted to enter his name and address he duly obliged, giving himself the screen name Osama_Black_Ops.

This data was instantly passed to the hackers who sold it on to the American government within minutes. Within 24hours, troops were at his gates, and Osama knew the game was up. Resulting in him Tweeting – “The infidels have come, and I didn’t even get to finish Arkham City.” Foolishly he had not turned off the “use my location” tool on his new iPhone, merely confirming his location to the approaching troops.

So we must ask ourselves this question, is technology really improving our lives? Is the constant string of updates really necessary? I can tell you what Osama will be thinking!

And to all out there who may be harbouring a little allegiance to Osama’s cause, your real enemy is not America, or Barrack Obama. I would call for an all out war on Sony/Apple/Bill Gates.

On a lighter note it has been reported that Chuck Norris has returned from holiday this morning, after a 3-day trip to the Afghan-Pakistan border. He is quoted as saying “It was a very enjoyable trip, and I feel I have accomplished a lot.” Good to hear the great man in such good spirits, I wonder if he knows about Osama?