Parenting – Why “Because I Said So” Doesn’t Work Best with Children
by When a parent asks a child to do (or not do) something, and the child asks, "Why?" it can be tempting to dismiss the question with that classic parenting line, "Because I said so." While "because I said so" can be effective in ending questions it isn’t always the most effective approach for parents.
Saying “because I said so” in response to a child’s question shows the child that you don’t respect him enough to bother trying to share an explanation with him. This isn’t to suggest that a parent needs to go into lengthy explanations until the child has received one that satisfies him; because when a parent tells a child something the child doesn’t want to hear, no explanation will satisfy him. Still, showing the child enough respect to take the time and offer a basic explanation not only shows the child an example of how to treat others with respect, but it also shows the child that he is valued.
Also, there are actually times when children who are given a reasonable explanation for something like a rule or a request will actually be more likely to cooperate because they see the reasoning behind things and aren’t as likely to feel as if the parent just “pulled out of thin air” some unreasonable rule or request.
This isn’t to say that parents should allow a child who challenges them to keep up the challenging indefinitely, but a parent can respond to a child’s question with a reasonable explanation and a clear-cut end to the debate once the reasonable explanation has been given.
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