Rihanna: One of Many Teen Dating Abuse Victims

Okay, so you’ve probably heard about the Chris Brown assault on singer Rihanna. Reports state that Brown not only hit Rihanna but also threatened her life! This is a tragic example of what many face today. However, this did not stop Rihanna from  resuming her relationship with Brown post attack. Current reports state that Brown did plea guilty to the offense and that a restraining order was enforced by the judge-not by Rihanna.I was really disappointed in Rihanna because I feel that as a role model and celebrity she really could have made a statement for young girls in abusive relationships.

So, I’ll stop, we’ve all heard the stories and rumors around the Chris Brown-Rihanna case. But what is left untold is the sad reality that 1 in 3 teenagers are said to experience abusive relationships. I, myself have encountered one in my own life. I was amazed that by the time I got the courage to leave the boyfriend who constantly emotionally tore me down and even at the end-physically abused me, that I had completely changed. When we began our courtship, it was bliss-my first love. We were happy, always laughing, and in love. This ended after about 6-7 months when his true colors started to peel through. I had been warned prior to beginning a relationship with him of his aggressive and abusive tendencies but just could not fathom that this amazing guy could be that way. But I soon found that he was. He suffered from severe anger problems. Going into the relationship I was very outgoing, confident, and had high spirits. By the end of our year and a half relationship, I was withdrawn, fearful, depressed, and had lost about 30 lbs.! Looking back, I do not know why I had let it get so far. Why did I keep forgiving him?

I think that as with many girls, I held out hope. I also covered the reality with excuses. “He’s having a hard time, work is getting to him” etc. I also would look back to those first six months of happiness- I would think, we were so happy I know we can be that  happy again. And of course, and most simply- I loved him. I think that many girls ,whether out of fear or from the reasons described above, wait until the situation has escalated to an absolutely frightful height. I waited until the physical abuse escalated to the point of physical fractures and displacements. I look back at that day and remember fearing that it would be my last.

The sad thing is that many girls continue to wait and never leave. I left everything I owned and limped to a neighbors and ended up in the hospital due to the physical abuse. Some wait until it is literally too late. A study from the mid nineties showed that 7 percent of murder victims were teenage girls murdered by an abusive partner. I wouldn’t doubt that the percent has risen within the last ten years. Many who look up at celebrity Rihanna may feel  that if she could forgive an abusive boyfriend so can they. I do not recommend this to any girl reading this. Do not wait until you are fearing that you are going to be killed. We all deserve respect and love- being beaten, threatened, emotionally abused, or having to make excuses for bruises or your boyfriend is NOT respect nor love.Of course boys face abuse as well, and should also seek help if in an abusive relationship.

Some signs that your partner may be abusive are :

jealousy, controlling behaviors, mood swings, anger problems, isolates you from your friends or family, throws tantrums, uses alcohol and drugs, puts you down, or wants to move abnormally quickly into your relationship.

Please get help, leave, and stand firm in your decision. Please intervene if your child becomes withdrawn, has emotional outbursts, seems depressed, has failing grades, mysterious-unaccounted for bruises, (these are all indications of being involved in an abusive relationship)and has a relationship with a person who fits the above description.