Rutgers Suicide The Hot Topic

In the wake of the Rutgers’ student committing suicide the news media is a buzz with stories about bullying, and the gay kids that bullying is effecting in schools. While reading these stories about what happened at Rutgers there has been no clear connection between the suicide and the actions of his roommate, yet this is the main concentration of these stories. They “suggest” that the roommate’s actions are what prompted the suicide without even presenting any other facts that could be the cause or at least contributions. The kid that committed suicide was in a higher level of performance then the typical musicians entering the same program. This can create an enormous amount of pressure on a young person, especially when introducing a higher level of education, socialization at the same time. Yes, his roommate was incredible insensitive, yet no more or less then any outspoken person of the same age. It is one of the reasons that children go away to college, is to experience both success and failure, to feel pride and embarrassment and to learn how to handle these facts of life. Living publically on any college campus strips away the concept of privacy as rooms are shared, space is shared even the showers and toilets are shared, making it a huge mistake for anyone to assume they have privacy.

The stories on CNN.com recount the experiences of homosexual students that are the target of bullies because of their sexuality. One young man claims that once he “came out” in eighth grade the abuse and bullying began. The problem with these claims is who expects children in eighth grade to have the maturity to deal with this complexity in interpersonal relations? Complex social structures surround these children by immersing them in definitions of right and wrong, when previously bombarding their intellect with self-protecting mantras. “Tell an adult if someone touches your privates,” and “don’t trust strangers,” and the like are what the younger children experience, yet then expecting these children simply to accept someone in total opposition to what society is teaching, seems unrealistic.

A recent review of the 2009 film Star Trek by Redlettermedia makes a valid social point at the end by exposing what they call a case of the “not gays.” Through the film, characters make statements and take actions that specifically declare that they are “not gays.” These are subtle, almost unnoticeable social definitions aimed to comfort people who are uncomfortable at the suggestion of homosexuality. It is the same as the actions of young bullies, drawing a line in an ambiguous point of sexual development that separates them from what they fear is unacceptable.  Even if these child bullies could articulate the experiences that compel them to attack other children that are different, it would not excuse the behavior. It is unlikely that a single person’s sexuality is at its final destination in eighth grade, or even in college, yet by claiming that it is draws the attention to the difference between them and their peers. Any difference, height, weight, hair color, skin color or complexion, awkwardness, speech or simply appearing to be weak can draw the attention of a bully and give them ammunition.

Most understand that a person who “comes out of the closet” has made a very brave and tumultuous decision, yet it seems unrealistic to expect children to appreciate and respect that decision. As for the Rutgers’ student that committed suicide, and how the camera in the room is different then a fellow student witnessing the two men entering the room together, is that it erases the notion of deniability, which may have been one of many contributing factors. It is sad, especially when taken into consideration that many people do not completely define their sexuality until after their college experiences. In the end, it appears that the media is taking the opportunity to rake a prankster across the coals, because if you read the stories, the roommate did not put the camera in the room because he thought the person was gay, he did it as a joke. The question that everyone should be asking is if this receiving so much coverage because he was gay, if the encounters had been with a woman, embarrassing the young man to the same ends would it still be a national issue or would it just be a statistic.