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What is it with flags? Why do we have them? It may surprise many but some of us  loathe the wishy-washy sentiment attached to flags .  The nations of the world and their citizens are obsessed with flags. To all this clap-trap about flags representing national identity, I say bollocks! Some would even suggest they evoke pride and determination of spirit lifting the bearers to even greater heights of achievement. Well, bollocks to that too! Does a colourful rag…er flag really do that, and why does the very mention of them cause passions to stir?

If you believed all those patriotic bimbos out there, you could be forgiven for thinking that the flag came first and the reason for them, a mere afterthought. They fight for the flag, they win for the flag, and they fly them on buildings and salute them. They drape them around their bodies as they run around sporting arenas, they sing to them as they run them up a flagpole and oh yes.. they drape them over coffins. Why do they bother? What message are they sending to the multitude of onlookers?

Perhaps there are some out there who feel they need a multi-coloured security blanket to compensate for some national identity crisis? But I challenge anyone to nominate one positive thing about a flag other than its decorative appeal?  Celebrating international sporting events is a good case in point.  Do athletes want the whole world to celebrate their achievements or just their country? Do we need champions like Michael Phelps draped in an American flag or Roger Federer in an Swiss flag to celebrate what they have achieved? Watching someone win a major international event and then run around an arena with a flag draped over their shouders has got to be the most pedestrian of all celebrations. 

I cannot see how this nationalistic fervour is good for the world? The Americans are obsessive about flags; it was the first thing they did when they landed on the moon. European sports fans taunt each other with them, and South Americans….well, don’t get me started.

So what’s the remedy?  Let’s start by imagining a world without flags, other than for rodeos and mindless car races and perhaps occasions when we need something to brighten our spirits. Just paint them the colours of the rainbow. Let’s get rid of these silly national props. Would life still exist as we know it? Would the world as we know it begin to heamorrage without flags?  And as for politicians who like to rouse national fevour by sanctimoniously placing a flag  behind them when they are sucking up for your vote, what is it that they are really saying? What they are saying is that they are so boring we need something to distract us from their hubris.

Don’t forget that people like Hitler used them to unite a nation, Japan made them synonymous with the Emperor, and Napoleon the same, so we know they are good for wars. They show us at whom we should be shooting, although I doubt that when the troops were dodging bullets in Afghanistan, the flag was on their minds.

Unfortunately, I don’t think the idea of getting rid of flags will catch on, and so for those of us who find the whole thing the parallel of cultural cringe, they will still be used, selfishly and dishonestly, and the people who are sucked in by all this nationalistic razamataz, will continue to believe that honouring a flag somehow makes them good citizens.

What a load of bollocks!