Size Perfect

   So this morning one of the first things I did was log onto my computer to check my email. I sat down in my desk chair, freezing cold, barely awake, sipping coffee and preparing myself for another day at work. My AIM account opened up, greeting me with the ever familiar “You’ve got mail!” notification, and then showed a line of news stories for the day. Now, normally I couldn’t give a rat’s left butt cheek about what’s in the news because it’s all so jumbled up anyway and I have better things to do, but THIS particular morning, something caught my eye. Something that pissed me off so greatly I actually started yelling at my computer screen.

   Apparently, somewhere off in Germany there is a designer, Wolfgang somthingorother, who somehow came up with the audacity to publicly state that Heidi Klum was “too large” to be a supermodel. Please, allow this a moment to sink in. Now, point me to just ONE woman who would not give her ovaries in a second to have Heidi Klum’s body. I honestly did not know how to react when I read this, and apparently neither did the author of the article, because she simply ended her piece with “who is this guy to think he’s within his right to say that? No seriously, who is he?” I can’t answer that either, so you’re guess is as good as mine.

   After finally calming down enough to finish my coffee, I launched myself into my work clothes (all the while scowling at my reflection….well dammit, if Heidi Klum is fat, I’m the Titanic.), and piled into my car with all my junk for work, peeling out of my quiet little suburban neighborhood like I had the Devil and all his demons on my heels. The entire drive to work I chewed on the whole idea of one of the most beautiful supermodels ever being called fat, and it got me to thinking more and more about the other celebrities that Hollywood has been watching lately as far as body image is concerned. Kelly Clarkson, for example, is not a skinny itty bitty girl, but she SURE as hell is not as fat as everyone seems to be making her out to be. She looks normal to me. She’s healthy, she’s gorgeous, and whatever guy she gets with won’t ever have to worry about breaking her in half in bed. THAT is a woman. The average woman is not built like a ten year old Chinese boy, and most of us non-Hollywood folk have come to realize this.

  I personally am not a “small” woman. I am 5′7 and I wear about a 10/12 depending on what I am wearing, and I look pretty damn good in my opinion, but it’s things like the media saying a size 2 woman is fat that just pull me under.  I have hips, I have an ass, a fairly large one, and I have boobs. Thats just how it goes. Even if I became anorexic today, at the end of my little gig I would simply look like a toothpick with huge hips and boobs (that mental image actually made me laugh out loud for a minute). *sighs* I digress. I must leave for the time being, but this will be continued, I assure you.