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The Negative Effects of Showing Favoritism to Children

Showing favoritism to our children always have negative results. It will create jealousy and low self esteem to those who are not favored.

There are some parents, caregivers and teachers who don’t realize the negative effects of playing favorites to children. Some of those who  played favoritism thought that the less favored children will be challenged to do better or improve themselves to earn their favor. This concept is wrong because the  less favored kids  will develop jealousy and hatred in their hearts towards the favorites instead of being challenged to do good. The following are the common negative effects of showing favoritism to children.

1. Showing favorites will develop the feeling of jealousy. When jealousy creeps in the hearts of children this will result to constant fighting. It might be  verbal or physical fights. It is not healthy for kid’s relationship specially siblings when they always fight because the other felt bad against the other. There is no peace in the home where favoritism is present. Even in school or wherever, when there is favoritism going on, everything is a mess. We should always remember this.

2.  Showing favorites will let the less favored  felt insecure and mad all the time. These  kids  often refuse to participate or have less cooperation in activities when the favorites are around. It affects a lot in  the performance of kids when there is favoritism going on in the group much more if it happened in the home.  It is really hard to deal with this scenario.

3. Showing favoritism will encourage rebellion among kids. Those who are not favored will rebel as an outlet of their emotions. We don’t want to have rebellious kids right? This is why we should be fair in our treatment to our kids in spite of their differences. Most parents or teachers, favored the kids who are intelligent, polite, honest, handsome or beautiful. Like for example, those who are always making trouble are not given attention because they are a head ache. We must be careful on this, because everybody deserves to be treated equally in spite of what and who they are. It is our duty to teach them how to behave so that they will develop a good character. We are not helping the bad ones to improve if we show favoritism towards others.

4.  Favoritism will encourage the less favored to run away or withdraw because of ill feelings.  This is the danger of playing favorites to children. Instead of developing love in their hearts, we are driving them away from us.  We are not helping the kids to improve but instead, we become a contributing factor to their troubles.  Poor children, parents and caregivers were answerable to  God of whatever  happens to the children entrusted to their care.

5.  Favoritism will encourage the favored kids to show off and become proud because of the love and attention they got. Most often, the favored kids are overconfident and boastful and totally not an ideal way of raising children.  Why was  the story of Joseph in the Bible become famous? it was because he was the most favored child by his father which resulted to his brothers plot to kill him. He was lucky enough because a  merchant passed by and his brothers’ plan was changed and instead of killing him he was sold. We can read the facts in the Bible that favoritism is not good for it gives  negative effects.

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  1. N. Sun

    On November 14, 2010 at 7:38 pm


    Nice. You bring up some great points. Thanks for sharing!

  2. cindy

    On February 5, 2011 at 9:46 am


    my sister was the favorite kids mom spend alot of money for her b-day party piano lessons but for me i always have to keep digging or saving up for something i like i know that ‘m an adult now but sinces i was a kid my mm show favorites and it hurts me like hell, i mean i treat my friend and sister equally i will do the same when i have kids but she just so boastful and proud. she not even as pretty as me. my friend brought something for me and mom got jealous i mean yes mom give me selter and food but it seem is only my sister who should be prasied but the one i should priase is god and jesus.

  3. cin

    On February 5, 2011 at 9:47 am


    oh sorry my sister still is now, wrong grammer.

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