The Three Fundamental Principles of Parenting

It will come as no surprise to you that parenting is, at times, difficult, but feat not, it doesn’t have to be. The key to being a good parent is to develop mutual respect between you and your child. Positive emotions always trump negatives ones, so it is much better for your child to respect you and act accordingly than fear you and act only to prevent punishment. By no means am I saying that punishment should not be dished out, but many parents misunderstand the way the mind of a child works.

Principle Number 1: Treat thy child as thyself.

Many parents often fall into the trap of thinking that the ‘classic’ methods of parenting are correct and will work on their child. This is, in fact, very rarely the case, and with the increase in freedom of well… everything these days, children no longer respond to having discipline forced upon them.

Think back to your childhood – did your parents ever ask you to do something seemingly irrational, giving the reason “because I’m your mother” or “because I’m your father” when you questioned their request? Now think how frustrated and helpless you felt when they said this. Nobody likes being controlled in such a cruel way, and neither do children. At the end of the day, you are their parent and they will listen to you eventually, but as previously mentioned, positive emotion trumps negativity, so whenever you feel there may be a dispute over a matter, just think how you would have felt if you were in the child’s situation and act accordingly.s

Principle Number 2:  Issue fair punishments.

This principle may seem very obvious, but it is forgotten by far too many. Very often, children can be frustrating to deal with, and may require punishments in order to discipline them. This is perfectly fine, but parents often let their anger and emotions cloud their judgement, and sometimes forget the actual purpose of a punishment.

Punishments are issued in order to teach the child that what he/she did was wrong, and that he/she shouldn’t do it again. Punishments are not issued to get revenge (for want of a better word) on the child for misbehaving or disobeying you. It can be difficult to control yourself when your child gets on your nerves, but at the end of the day, you want what’s best for your child, and months of grounding or senseless beatings will neither teach the child that what he/she did was wrong, nor increase their respect for you. What will teach your child these things, however, is actually making him/her feel bad for what he/she did, followed by a short term punishment so that he doesn’t instantly forget.