Three Ways to Cause Road Rage

The best way to combat feelings of road rage is to be the cause of the rage.  It is actually very simple to do and with a little practice you can perfect the art of causing road rage and start collecting nasty looks, middle fingers and other signs of road rage directed at you!

• Be Distracted While Driving:  This is very easy to achieve in Today’s fast pace society.  Be sure to stock up on fast food, hot coffee and other hard to eat foods and drinks.  Make sure you cell phone is fully charged for the drive ahead. Do not program your gps until you have started your drive.  If you must program it ahead of time be sure it is programmed to the wrong location and always in a language you do not understand.  Put your favorite CD in, turn it up as loud as you can, make your first cell phone call or better yet text, then tear into your first supersize meal and hit the road.

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• Drive Below The Posted Speed Limit In The Passing Lane:  The key to success is to place your self in a heavy traffic flow area.  Once you are firmly situated in the left hand passing lane, adjust your speed so you are traveling slightly over or of course slightly under the rest of traffic. This gives you the power to block all three lanes of traffic.  You must be vigilant, if a neighboring car decides to speed up, allowing the flow of traffic to once again move at a decent speed, you must match their speed.  If you lose focus and allow them to pass, you will find yourself limited to only one dirty look instead of the many who are stuck behind the traffic jam you have created.

• Use The Freeway or Highway As Your Personal Race Track:  Before attempting this cause of road rage, be sure to purchase a radar monitor.  Although they are not 100% effective they can reduce the number of costly tickets you will have to pay. Once you radar monitor is switched on, enter the freeway at the highest possible speed you can.  Continue your high-speed drive, weaving in and out of traffic with no regards to other drives, the laws or traffic safety. When switching lanes do not signals this may give the other drivers a fair warning of what you plan to do. Always cut in front of the other drivers and slide into open spaces that only a fool would dare to try. The one draw back when using this method is the speed required to effectively cause road rage will limit the number of offended drives you will actually have the pleasure of seeing. It will be difficult for you to count the number of dirty looks, hand gestures and red faces directed at you.

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Yes, is this an idiots guide to being rude and stupid while driving, it is amazing how many rude and stupid drivers are out there.