Sometimes a gun IS better than a man. Here are 30 reasons why!!
While we have kept it light and humorous…(if you have checked out my earlier shtf articles…if not….go check them out…what are you waiting for?) we have actually been talking about some pretty heavy stuff. Just to break from that for a few moments and laugh out loud (how long has it been since you saw that spelled out?). Here then are our Top Thirty reasons for why a gun is better than a man.
30. It’s only requirement is that you feed it and clean it. If you don’t feed it for a while, it doesn’t complain.
29. It won’t ever get jealous, no matter how many guns you have
28. It only clings to you if you put it there
27. You can discipline the kids and it won’t run over and un-discipline them
26. It won’t spend hours in the bathroom or hog the remote
25. The only mess it leaves behind is spent shell casings, It doesn’t get drunk and puke on the floor.
24. It’s always fun to play with,It always looks good at your hip and It could care less about the hot chick ahead of you in line
23. It won’t question everything you say and do… If you run into an old friend at the store, it just sits there and waits
22. It does exactly and ONLY what you tell it to.
21. No matter what you do, it won’t get mad at you. You don’t have to explain yourself to it. You can cuddle with it, if you wanted to…and it will never expect more.
20. If it does something for you, it doesn’t beg for anything in return. It won’t demand attention
19. When you leave it at home It won’t get mad at you. And it won’t text you every five minutes
18. You can count on it to be there when you need it most; It won’t run away when you cry OR run and hide behind you when confronted with a 300# thug.
17. It is ready the instant you are…every time. It’s always hard and it will wait patiently as you warm up
16. You can take it home to Mom. Dad will be proud..and no one will care what color it is.
15. You can always depend on it to put food on the table
14. You can borrow it to your best friend and not worry about it
13. You can check out other guns and it won’t cry about it.
12. It WILL take No for an answer
11. If it misfires/fails to fire, you don’t have to spend hours stroking it’s ego.
10. If you own a Mosin Nagant, you can use it as a boat oar and it won’t cry when you throw it in the water butt first.
9. You would be extremely proud, if someone put it in a glass case for others to see.
8. When you get bored with it, you can trade/upgrade it without guilt OR you can sell it and get your money back…usually more!
7. If it flies off the handle, it’s because you actually DID do something wrong.
6. You can take it anywhere and not be embarrassed.
5. The gas and smoke it expels actually smells good.
4. A gun will only go off early if you do something wrong.
3. It’s still going to be just as handsome at 70 as it was at 20.
2. There are actually legitimate reasons why you shouldn’t play with it while you are drinking.
1. You can put a silencer on it.