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Understanding Why People Want to Believe The Worst About You

The uncomfortable reality of false friends.

Without warning M, who you thought was your friend, attacks you for something that you not only didn’t do/say but couldn’t have done/said.   Before you try to defend yourself, wasting time, sending up your blood pressure, churning your emotions, get to the point;  This Person is NOT your friend.  This person has NEVER been your friend.  This person has always wanted to find something Against you, and is willing to manufacture or accept anything negative about you.

There are two types of false friends; one is the innately false, the person who has befriended you to use you, the other thinks so little of you s/he is willing to believe anything which casts you in a bad light. A few, of course, are trying to plase your current ‘enemy’ so attack you to curry favor.

For example, a person you haven’t heard from in years  attacks you for something done in the past, something you don’t remember at all.  Before trying to defend yourself, fall silent.  If you re on email or the phone do not respond, end the call.  If in real life, go away.  

The facts are very clear.   If you had offended someone twenty years ago they have had twenty years to vent their speen.  They haven’t.  As you have no guilty feelings you have contacted them or put yourself in a position for them to contact you, but all done with a clean spirit.  This is because there is nothing you have done.

Clearly,  there is a third party who is using you to distract. Especially when  s/he is the one sho is gulty.

There is no reason to explain why you couldn’t have done/said; because the person who has done the act has worked very hard to cast blame on you.   That the other is willing to forget reality and accept the new version says more about them then you. 

Silence works wonders.   it allows the stooge to reflect and perhaps realize they are being used.  And best of all, it protects you from another false friend.

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