Unwritten Rules: Cultures, Norms, Expected Behaviors, and Social Values

World without Rules

Everywhere in the world there are rules that make it possible for people to do the thousands of different things that are part of everyday living. Without such rules, it would be impossible to get things done. Everyone would be in a state of confusion. Two people could not even play a simple game of checkers if each one followed a different set of rules. Driving from one place to another would be very dangerous if all drivers made up their own rules of the road.

Most of these rules for everyday living are not found in books. Many are not written down at all. But everyone knows what they are. They are the things that help us understand what other people may expect from us and what we may expect from others.

These unwritten rules are part of what we call culture. A culture is the total way of life created by a group of people. It includes things, ideas, behavior, and speech.

There following are some of the examples of the different kinds of behavior that people expect of each other. You will see how a culture’s unwritten rules protect people from confusion and harm.

Expected Behavior

Have you ever seen an angry baby? Then you know how it behaves. All over the world, angry babies behave in much the same way. Their little hands clench into fists. Their faces wrinkle with temper. Then they take a big breath and yell. They want what they want when they want it. They have no other way to say so. But such behavior is only for infants. Part of growing up is discovering that one cannot always do as one pleases. After all, the world could not work if everyone went about acting like angry babies. People must learn to control their behavior. This is why every culture has rules that define how people are expected to behave. A culture’s unwritten rules of behavior are called its norms.

Children begin learning the norms of their culture when they are still quite small. They learn by being told and by watching others. As they grow older, they get into the habit of behaving in the expected ways. They learn to do this almost without thinking about it. They are startled if they see someone else go against the norms they have learned.

Being Polite: A norm we expect from each other