Unwritten Rules: Cultures, Norms, Expected Behaviors, and Social Values

Learning Norms by Observation

One important way to learn is by observation. This is the act of seeing and noticing. A child watches what older people do and then tries to do the same. If a Quechua girl sees her mother and older sister spinning wool, she may also want to try. Just by watching, she begins to learn how to do the job. How to keep the wool from getting tangled.

Learning Norms by Instruction

Another way to learn is by instruction. This is being told or shown what to do and how to go about it. It is instruction when your math teacher shows you how to work new kind of problem. Your mother is instructing you when she shows you how to write a thank-you note for an enexpected birthday present that arrived in the mail.

Short stories also teach the social values of a culture. One story told, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf!,” has been retold for centuries. The story is about a little boy who likes to shout “Wolf! Wolf!”. Each time he shouts these words, other people come running to save him. But there never is a wolf. The little boys is just playing a game. Then one day when he is alone, a real wolf comes along. The little boy is truly afraid. “Wolf! Wolf! He shouts. But nobody comes to save him. You may already know what social value this story told us.

Encouraging others to keep the norms followed

All people everywhere have ways to encourage others to keep following the culture’s norms and respecting its social values. Hugs, kisses, smiles, and kind words let people know that we like what they are doing. Such things are called rewards. They are like presents given for doing right.

Norms and Rejection

But what happens when we notice someone doing something wrong? We do not smile or say kind words. We may frown or speak harshly. These are forms of punishment. A child who does not play fairly with other children may be punished by rejection, by being sent or kept away from the group. Adults who break certain traffic laws may be given a fine, a sum of money they have to pay as a punishment. People found guilty of such serious crimes as robbery may be punished by being sent to prison.

Most people usually follow the expected ways of their culture. It is only a small number who break the most important rules. This is why most groups, most of the time, work much as they supposed to.