What Not to Tell Kids

     The power of words cannot be underestimated.  Children, the youngest members of our society are many times shaped by what they hear from adults.  These are some of the things we should seek to never say to the children who are around us or  in our lives: 

    1.  Never tell children that their  being born was a mistake.   A child needs to know that his or her  birth was an important event and that they are valuable members of their community.

    2.  Refrain from telling a child that he or she is inferior to another sibling in the family.  Jealousy, feelings of inferiority, and possible revenge could result.  Each child is unique.  They should be praised for their uniqueness and made to see how being who they are is good. 

    3.  Don’t curse around children.  They tend to emulate adults and curse words will not help them in their association with others. 

    4.  Never gossip about others when children are present.  Children are quick to form opinions about others based on what adults say.  Gossip is not always true, so ill formed opinions can become harbored which can destroy meaningful releationships.

     5.  Keep your kids encouraged. Use no words that will discourage them as they aspire to accomplish worthwhile goals.  Even if you do not fully understand the direction they would like to take in life, keep an open mind and motivate them with small pep talks about being self-sufficient and productive. 

     6.  Because children come from two adults, refuse to berate or down a missing parent or a parent who is not in the home.  Children know that they are part of that missing parent, and sometimes they will try to be an exact copy of the parent they only know through your conversation with them.  Try especially hard to not make any derrogatory remarks about that parent.  Talk about the good features, but keep it real. 

    7.  Never promise a child something and not deliver exactly what was promised.  A child is very trusting, and once that trust is lost, it may never be restored.  Keep all of your promises as far as it is in your power, or don’t make blatant promises which you know you will not be able to keep. 

    8.  Try hard to talk respectfully about those who are in charge of your children when you are not present– the babysitter, teachers, principals, people who work at your child’s school,  your pastor and those who teach your children at church, club leaders, coaches, and anyone who is working to help uplift your child spiritually or educationally.   In order for the children to benefit from good leadership, they must cooperate knowing that those in charge of them are operating from the vantage point of their best good. 

    9.  Don’t brag about crimes you or someone you know have committed around children.  If you seem to be gloating over the crimes, they will surely want to see if they can commit such also.  These conversations are better left unsaid and never rehearsed.   Instead talk about worthwhile endeavors and accomplishments that you or others you know engaged in.  Inspire your children to go higher than you went, and point them to heroes that did exceptional things in their lives. 

   10.  Only criticize your child with constructive criticism.  If you continue to jab your children with criticism that is not constructive, they will feel that everything they do is never good enough. 

     These are just starters, but observing the rule of placing before your children that which is best will help them to grow up to aspire to greatness.  Their self-images will be positive and their outlook towards others, healthy.  As extensions of you, don’t you want them to be the best that they can be?

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