My 14 year old daughter had a friend the same age who was having a hard time at home.  He was then placed with his biological father who lived in Oregon.  While the young man was there his father got into some trouble and was put in jail, the State came and took the young man to Juvenile, where he was placed with foster parents.  He didn’t like it and knew no one there in Oregon, so he hitched a ride to our house here in Washington.  I talked to the State about taking him in and was told I had to take a couple of classes in foster Care.  At my first class, CPS  was the speaker, there were myself, as a single parent, and then 4 or 5 other couples attending.  CPS talked of how needed foster parents were and how they help couples and encourage couples to become foster par tents.  One couple raised their hand and stated that they really didn’t want to be foster parents, they couldn’t have any children of their own and wanted to adopt. To my surprise the other couples there also agreed they too were wanting to adopt.  CPS told them that becoming a foster parent was the fastest way to adopt.  CPS also said that almost all the children they had in custody came from Meth users, that every week in Court parents were losing their parental rights due to meth use, and you could even pick out the children you wanted and be almost certain you could adopt them with in one year. 

The meth users always fail, one way or the other. they give up and move on.  Leaving their kids behind for us to adopt out.  Why is that one asks, well to be honest with you there’s a lot of things that the using parent has to do, to even get visitation, one is they have to stay clean, ua’s are done randomly, and there they usually fail.they have parenting classes. NA meetings, visits, court appearance’s, their usually evicted from their homes, cut off of public assistance, lets just say it’s too much for them so they just disappear.  CPS had a experienced foster parent there to talk to the couples, as she stood there saying that they had 5 children, 2 already adopted and 3 more that only had 3 months left to go before they adopted them.  As she turned the baby she was holding around I almost fell off the chair, it was my best friends granddaughter she was holding, and wanting to adopt.  The woman said that the mother of these 3 girls was trying very hard but had slipped and used Meth 2xs and was going to lose her parental rights in 3 months, and after a year of the children being in the foster care, the courts didn’t want to subject the kids to any more trauma and always lets the foster parents adopt them.  My mouth hit the floor, I knew these people and I knew that the grandmother loved those girls, the mother too.  I didn’t realize they had problems using drugs, the mother seems normal.  After the class I called my girlfriend up and told her what had happened,.She said her daughter had her children taken away by CPS.  Even on drugs she was a very good mother, the kids were clean,attended school,  went to church.  But she and her boyfriend got into a fight, and the police were called, she accused him of hitting her and he told them she was doing drugs, they searched her and found a small bag of Meth. they took her to jail and CPS took the kids.  My friend told me her daughter was doing all she could to get the girls back but to CPS and the courts it wasn’t good enough.  The Grandmother tried to get the kids, but because of her past was told no.  There are no other family members around to help out.  My friend cried her heart out to me.  I can not believe that it’s legal for strangers to come in and just take your children, out of a very loving family just because Theres a problem.  3 month later the foster parents got to adopt the children, my friend and her family will never get to see those girls again, how wrong is that?  What about the love these children got from Grandma and the mom. there was no neglect, no abuse, there was love. lots of love, what ever happened to helping the person with the drug problem? 

My parents, I hate to say, but they were alcoholics, they drank and fought every week-end, my mother would beat me, and once when I ran away to avoid being beaten, I was 12 years old the police picked me up and when I went to court saying I did not want to be returned to my home,  the Judge took me aside and told me a bad mother was better than no mother at all.  I was returned home.  But he was somewhat right,  families should stick together, I shouldn’t have been beaten but I learned how to avoid them while they drank and by the time I was 16 they were mellow, the beating and fighting stopped .  I knew my parents loved me they just had a drinking problem. 

In this day and age, parents are not allowed to hit the kids which is great, I think, but we lose a lot, as far as respect, obedience, and the family unit goes.  Children are taught at an early age if you break it, it’s ok we can get a new one, just like a family, if it’s not good enough you can get a new one.  If the marriage doesn’t work, there’s divorce, and I can get a new one. Any more, kids don’t even want to get married, there’s no commitment.

I think instead of ripping families apart because of drugs, they should help the family more, not punish the entire family, destroy the family.  What would God think?  When did the Judges and CPS become equal to God?  What does love got to do with it?  Everything.   A family that loves together should stay together.  For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death does a family part.  I don’t mean abuse or neglect, that should be addressed right away, but if the problem is drugs or alcohol those should be fixed as a family unit.  CPS and our Court system need to quit being so lazy, and instead of breaking the family and getting new ones, they need to work a little harder in fixing what wasn’t broken but just in need of a little TLC. Tender Loving Care. 

Foster Parents are temporary parents that take children in to their home until they can go back to their own home.  Their not there to hope or bank on the parents losing their parental rights, to jump right in and adopt.  CPS needs to understand the definition of Foster Care, and Foster Parent. I did find out that CPS gets a bonus for every child they take from a family and can adopt out so maybe that is the reason they take so many children from loving parents, $$$$$   How sad is that.  And what can we do about it?