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When The One You Love Betrays You

You thought you found your soul mate. Then one day you find that they have betrayed you in some way. What do you do now? This article goes over the feelings of hurt and what to do about it.

Well you did it.

You found the one, the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.  You have found your perfect soul mate.  You are now officially the happiest person alive, wondering what life will be like growing old and grey together.  And then…wham- It hits you like a ton of bricks.  You have found out that you’ve been betrayed.  It doesn’t really matter how it happened, you just know that it did.  Whether you found out that your other half has been cheating on you or cheating on your taxes, or that they lied about something real important, like if they have four kids that they “accidentally” forgot to tell you about or maybe that they are still married.  None of this actually matters. 

So what does matter? 

What does matter now is, and this is probably the only thing that matters, that the trust that you once had between the two of you is gone.  All of the hard work that you put into your relationship and in building up that trust doesn’t matter anymore.  It has been said by many a noble person that if there is no trust in a relationship, that her is no basis for the relationship to begin with.  So what are you supposed to do now?

 Are you supposed to break it off and chalk it up to bad luck?  Or maybe it was good luck, depending on what the actual betrayal was.  Or what about if the relationship was a few years old and the betrayal weren’t so bad?  Do you try to pick up the pieces and make it work?  There are no easy ways to answers those questions.  But they will eventually need about each and every situation, the situations themselves are very different beings.  But the one this that is not different and stays the same no mater what is the fact that it hurts. 

And there is no easy way to deal with that hurt either.

 Many will suggest that you follow your heart.  Although it sounds very cliché, it really does work.  The heart usually knows what is best for the soul.  And when the soul is as shattered as your feelings can be with any kind of betrayal, it can be very difficult to make any kind of decision, let alone a rational one.  And you can’t forget about your mind.  Using common sense and thinking about things for a while can usually help you through even the toughest of times.  But this won’t work if the problem is still fresh in your mind.  It is an open wound that needs to heal a bit, otherwise any action taken might just make matters worse. 

 So when you are feeling betrayed, you need to feel the hurt.  Bond with it and makes it your own.  And then when you are calmed sown enough to make a rational decision, think about it again.  Was the particular betrayal enough to warrant eh death penalty being dealt to your long happy life together?  Or is it something that can be worked on, like a delicious recipe that is passed through generations and tweaked along the way?  It is always ultimately your choice, whether you follow your head or your heart.  But most of all, follow your first instincts and do what you think will work for you in the long run to be able to make the best of things in any situation.  . 

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