Why is Pornography Only a Click Away?

It’s amazing how pornography is just a click away.  It starts with the cable TV channels.  I’ve blocked, locked, and password protected the adult channels to keep my husband, ha, no children from accidentally turning them on.  But they still show up in the guide.

We are weaning ourselves off of television so when I get home from errands today, I want to go to the music channels on the TV.  Thinking it’s channel 200 I go ahead and dial the number.  I realize this is the wrong channel as big and bold it says, Flirt and Squirt:  Gushing Girls.  Ewww!  How disgusting is that?  Oh, and underneath this it says pay per view, nice and small. 

Have you seen these channels?  No, I don’t mean seen, I mean seen, not seen, but seen them in your guide?  Here’s the lovely rundown showing today, this is tame compared to other days.

Euro Bimbo 6

Sexual Freak 2

Kinky Bit*&es 4

Skinny Dippin

Are you Smarter than a Slut

Oh, and one is off air – Thank goodness!

What if my son hits guide when I’m down listening to Party Favorites on the music channels and asks if he can watch Euro Bimbo 6?  Or we’re sitting down to a great family movie and someone accidentally sits on the remote (in our house it happens all the time) and we get the screen that says “The Towering Rearfono”.  I mean, come on!

I’m trying to picture the room where people sit and brainstorm the names of these videos.  There’s a big table with 12 people sitting there – most of the probably have all their clothes on.  They have a blank VHS tape (OK, I’m still a little behind-get it?) sitting on the table.

“OK, we got to name this video.”

The all sit quietly.

“How about Naked Housewife Threesomes?”

“No, we had Naked in the last video, we need something fresh.”

“These Housewives Have Butt?”

“Hmmm, it doesn’t really catch the essence of the video.”

“Skinny Freaks like Frying Pans?”

“That’s getting close.  But we want to appeal the artistic value of the movie.”