A Very Brief Summary of IT Acronyms and Slang
by A small dictionary of sorts, that summarizes some popular acronyms and slang that are used throughout information technology departments worldwide.
Less than popular usage: As a way to describe a relatively stable dictatorship.
Example of usage: After locking his lunch in a file cabinet, the IT professional says to himself, “If this flockin place were not a kleptocracy, I’d be able to leave my lunch on my desk.”
Favoritize -
Popular usage: The act of making any given website a favorite or bookmark in one’s Internet browser, often a website of ill-repute.
Less than popular usage: Some odd way of doing someone a favor.
Example of usage: The head of the IT Department addresses a group of IT professionals and says, “I just got a call from Network Security, apparently Bob just favoritized a porn site.”
Flusterclock -
Popular usage: Equivalent to Clusterflock in other IT departments; this is when several significant variables converge to cause one massive catastrophe that is usually indistinguishable from Armageddon.
Less than popular usage: As a type of cuckoo clock.
Example of usage: A water pipe that runs over a data-center bursts, thereby causing significant damage to the data-center. When the plumbers arrive, they find the charred remains of all the IT professionals that did not make it out in time. One plumber then says to another, “This is one big flusterclock!”
BOC – Big Orange Cord
Popular usage: As a contingency plan when all nearby electrical sources have failed; at times, it becomes necessary to run a fifty-foot plus extension cord from a working electrical outlet to the data-center, to keep critical equipment running… like the microwave or the deep-fryer.
Less than popular usage: Page cannot be displayed – Error 500 Internal Server Error.
Example of usage: One proto-user asks another, “What do those IT guys mean when they run around saying we’re running on the BOC? It must be something serious because I saw this long, orange cable running from the data-center to the staff break room.”
Sesquipedelian -
Popular usage: To properly label someone who uses very long and complex words in the Douglish language.
Less than popular usage: Taxonomic nomenclature for a lesser form of Sasquatch, previously identified by scientists as mini-Sasquatch.
Example of usage: After receiving a phone call from one IT professional, the unfortunate recipient of the call says the following to another, “Do you ever get the feeling that Bob might be a Sesquipedelian?”
PITA – Pain In The Arse
Popular usage: As a simple, yet effective way to describe something or someone that causes one’s cheeks to instantly clench due to the fear of impending damage.
Less than popular usage: As a form of mostly unleavened bread which can be utilized to hold some sort of meat and/or vegetarian product.
Example of usage: After RTFM, one IT professional says to another, “The upgrade that Microshaft just put out is a real PITA!”
Behooves -
Popular usage: The more appropriate way to inform someone of impending harm to their bodily person, should they continue to act or speak in an unpleasant manner.
Less than popular usage: A genetically-modified beehive constructed by bees with hooves.
Example of usage: One IT professional double-backs to his cube to find another IT professional there and says, “It behooves you to put my lunch down and step away from the cube!”
Hoariflockinbul -
Popular usage: Term used when one comes across a sight so devastating and disheartening that only such a word can properly describe its magnitude.
Less than popular usage: As a name for a Broadway musical.
Example of usage: IT professional one, “Remember that time when we lost half the IT staff to that flood/electrocution phenomenon in the data-center?” IT professional two, “Yeah, it was hoariflockinbul!”
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