Lost in Translation: A Step Down “Engrish” Lane

Many years ago I attended a vendor demonstration for some technical wizardry, and for my troubles was handed a gift of a “stepping meter” to take home. I am not sure what the insinuation was but the people attending these functions are often, like me, a little on the pudgy side. Perhaps it was an insult but the less paranoid conclusion was that it was the vendor cared about our health and didn’t want us dying from heart attacks before we could recommend their product to our potential clients.

I took the gift home and eagerly opened it to inspect the quality item before giving it to the kids to presumably trash the thing.

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The above image shows a photograph of the stepping meter with instructions and a 50 cent piece. The 50 cent piece was not in the packaging but is included for scale only. I saw a person do that on the television once and thought it was a good idea – although on the television the guy had a 20 cent piece next to a Yeti paw print in the ground…but a good idea is a good idea. Also in the picture is a plastic thing from one of my kid’s Lego kits. I don’t know why I put that there.

The actual interesting part of this image however is the instruction sheet and I have included a scan of the instruction sheet below:

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I highlighted the area that is of particular interest to make your life simpler. Why I should want to make your life easier I have no idea – I guess I am just a really nice person.

Now points 1 and 2 of the operational manual are very interesting. Considering point 1- there was no warning on the package that a flat plant was not included. I think it is unreasonable to expect that one would have a flat plant at home. I indeed only have bushy and strange shaped plants at home, and definitely no flat plants. This means that I will now need to go and buy a flat plant. I thought there were some laws against this – after all, if a product requires batteries yet does not include them does not the package need to say batteries not included? This thing should say ‘Flat Plant not included’!