Malapropagation: Lead The Way and We’ll Precede

When the Police were asking a woman for details about a thief who had stolen her purse, after giving as much detail as possible she was heard to say that she was surprised that something like that could happen ‘when it was pitch daylight’.

If you think that was a bad malapropism, then consider the following (short) conversation that was overheard.

Wife: “He’s a bit of a dark fish.”

Husband: “Don’t you mean a slippery horse?”

Talk about getting your words mixed up, surely it was either a ‘dark horse’ or a ‘slippery fish’. Perhaps the person being talked about was a bit of both, explaining the misunderstanding. 

Some words I suppose are quite hard to say and that can lead to confusion when saying it. Although, considering the following, it may be worth learning the proper word as we don’t want people to get the wrong idea. And the wrong idea could easily have been deduced from the person who told his mate that he had just bought a car with a ‘catholic converter’.

Some people only occasionally get their words muddled up, but there are those who seem to do it on such a regular basis that one has to wonder if they are doing it deliberately for humorous effect. Take Mrs. Smith for example (name changed to protect the innocent!), she is responsible for the following ten examples of malapropisms; 

When she was looking at a new house, Mrs. Smith said of the kitchen; ‘There is not enough room to skin a cat.’

Mrs. Smith often told her workmates about her drive along the ‘jeweled garageway’.

Before the smoking ban was introduced, Mrs. Smith always knew there was a threat from ‘passion smoking’.

When asked for directions to the nearest train station, Mrs. Smith replied that it was just down the road and it was a ‘2 minute walk, if you ran’.

When her husband’s car didn’t start, Mrs. Smith informed him that ‘the battery was as flat as a dodo’.

Mrs. Smith always described herself as being as ‘merry as a kite’.

Perhaps she was feeling a certain way when out with her husband at a restaurant. Mrs. Smith told the waiter that they would have some soup and then a pudding as they didn’t have time for the ‘intercourse’.