Ten Slang Terms That Need to Retire

I’m all for slang. In fact, I have been known to use both slang and colorful expletives in my daily diatribes and communication methods. I completely understand that slang is a part of life, a part of how we relate to one another. Then, of course, there is that slang that has been around way too long. The words that used to be cool but are now slandered by Buffy and Muffy on the golf course over a mid-afternoon Mimosa. Once slang has entered yuppiedom, these words have passed their prime; they are no longer cool. Because, as we are all aware, yuppies kill cool slang, and they kill it long and hard; they slay it like a sociopathic serial killer goes to town on an unsuspecting pumpkin.

It’s very sad, Or so I have heard.

For these yuppie-mauled nouns, adjectives, verbs and adverbs, I would personally like to commission a dark, dank corner of cyberspace from Urban Dictionary, where these pieces of language can be laid to rest….forever.

In a filing cabinet with a lock on it.

Seriously. A big, unbreakable lock that shocks yuppies when they attempt to open it.

So, without further ado, I bring you the list of slang terms in dire need of retirement (or a greeter position at the local Wal-Mart):

1.       Fo’ shizzle

In fact, anything with the ‘izzle’ needs to go. This is tired, old and it sound like butchered pig latin ran poured into a glass of stupid and poured over a mentally unstable girl at prom.

2.       Shorty

Unless you are describing a circus midget. That is the only acceptable context for this one moving forward.

3.       Homie

Remember Homie the Clown on “In Living Color” back in the 90’s? Well, the Waynes brothers knew when to retire a clown and the rest of you dopes need to learn when to retire the slang that goes with it! Homie don’t play that, yo?

4.       Dawg

Do you want a biscuit? Because I’ll let the dawgs out….and I will kick them.

5.       Baller

This has got to be one of the dumbest terms to describe a “pimp mac daddy ridin’ in his Benz” that I have ever in my life heard. Get rid of it.

6.       Swagger

This sounds like something you would do if you are pirate. You swagger, you look cool when you walk. Whatever, come up with a new word because this one is flat out retarded.

7.       Krunk

According to experts, this word just sucks. Next?

8.       Noob

Over it. More over it than a pole valuter at the Olympics who just scored the gold.  

9.       Chickens

I know they cluck and according to Fergie they jack style. I’d personally like to go back to eating them.

10.   Word

You are ending a sentence with a “word” that is “word”. Sheer genius. Not! This one is as stick-a-fork-in-it-done as “you feel me?” -which also needs to go.

So there you have it, my nominations for the retirement home for overly used and incredibly tiresome slang terms. You feel me dawg? Word.