The Most Hilarious and Confusing English Sayings Ever

Below are some hilarious and confusing English sayings people use everywhere around the world. These sayings, not only make no sense, but also cause for a little confusion and misunderstanding. It is always useful to know some of these sayings so as not to be left in the dark side of the Standard English.

1. From see you one eye, I s**t love you
2. I beat letter very fast, because I am a computer high hand. I even act as black guest.
3. I do early f-*-*-k every day, so that I can have strong body to protect you
4. Please come to play with me, or I will cut my hair to be a monk, and find a place where many monks live in to game over my life
5. Money is not everything. There’s MasterCard & Visa. .
6. Save water and shower with your girlfriend. .
7. Love the neighbor. But don’t get caught by her husband. .
8. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two women.
9. The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.
10. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. .
11. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness room to develop. .
12. Children in backseats will cause accidents. Accidents in backseats can bear children.
13. “Your future depends on your dreams.” So go to sleep. .
14. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
15. “Hard work never killed anybody.” But why take the risk?.
16. “Work fascinates me.” I can look at it for hours! .
17. God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
18. When two companion it’s not stable, but three have a good result!
19. A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
20. The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, and the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn?
21. Women need to cry. And they won’t do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
22. Women especially love a bargain
23. Women will always ask questions that have no center answers, in an effort to trap you into a feeling of guilty.
24. Women love to talk. Silent intimates them and they feel need to fillet, even if they have nothing to say.
25. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are
26. Women hate bugs. Even the strong willed ones need a man around when there is a spider or a wasp around.
27. Love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
28. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won’t make you cry. .
29. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
30. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. .
31. Don’t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn’t willing to waste their time on you.
32. Don’t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect the them to.
33. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
34. Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened
35. Women keep three different shampoos in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rainforest. .
36. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn’t need toys if women had a ″on／off switch.
37. Women can’t refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she is doing
38. Women always go to public rest rooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

You might also like my related article:

• The funniest and craziest English typos ever made in the signs
• The most horrible English words

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