“Um”.

It’s a Greek symbol, a little word that people have criticized Obama for overusing, and probably the most frequently spoken word on this planet.

That said, I’m kind of tired of it by now.

Why “um”? Has anyone else ever stopped and really thought about how lame that word is?

Um (noun):

A word people use to say when they realize what whatever they were going to say was completely unoriginal and added nothing to the discussion. I expect you to wait for me as I gather my thoughts.

Since the above definition was a tad clumsy to use in a conversational setting, we have reduced it to the simple “Um”. Or perhaps, “A”, or “uh”.

There are too many hesitational words as well. Being confused has never been so confusing!

We need a universal sign for “I’m confused and need approximately 0.4 seconds to catch up to the conversation”

But what?

It has to be short, it has to be universally known, and it has to be funny.

That’s right.

Being able to laugh at yourself is one of the signs of maturity, they say? Well let’s laugh it up continually! Life will be a party if we can only think of the right word!

Any suggestions? My vote’s on “Bite Me!”