Gum Stuck to Dentures? Go Sue Someone

You’ve probably heard of them – a lawsuit is filed because someone’s coffee was too hot.  Or, perhaps it’s legal action because you visited a haunted house attraction and found it was too scary.

Now comes the woeful tale of the Canadian woman who alleges she became depressed when the chewing gum she purchased stuck to her dentures.  This must have been one heck of a depression, because the woman is suing the maker of the chewing gum for a whopping $100,000.  What might she have sued for if the gum had stuck to her real teeth?

Depression Too

The woman claims that over several minutes’ worth of chewing, the gum fell apart into smaller pieces and adhered to her dentures.  The frightening picture of some gum pieces sticking to her store bought teeth was too much for her to handle and she slipped into a depressive state.

Now, this was not your run of the mill depression, mind you.  This depression lasted for a full TEN MINUTES.  That’s right, an outrageous 600 seconds of depression.  It’s a wonder she’s not suing for millions.  What made the depression come over her so quickly was the “disgusting” sight of the gum sticking to her choppers and having to dig out each of the small pieces.

The suit cost the woman $200 to file, so she’s also asking the court to cover her legal costs, plus interest.

So, where’s Johnny Cochran when you need him for a really big case, like this?  Oh, he died – which is probably what should happen to this lawsuit.

The Best of the Worst Lawsuits

But, it does offer another shining example of what people will do to make a buck (sort of like us writers).  For example, here are a few other famous and frivolous lawsuits.

1. Those beer commercials don’t offer what they promise, like half-naked women.  In 1991, a man sued Anheuser-Busch for false and misleading advertising because beer commercials showing beautiful women in tropical settings didn’t seem to come true for him.  Claiming emotional distress, mental injury, and financial loss he sued for $10,000.  Fortunately the court threw out his case and left him crying in his beer.

2. I want to get scared, but not too scared.  In 2000, a woman sued Universal Studios for $15,000 because she claimed to have suffered extreme fear, mental anguish, and emotional distress when she visited the Halloween Horror Nights haunted house.  It was too scary she claimed in her suit.  Actually, it’s lawsuits like this that are pretty scary.

3. Stop me from raping or I’ll sue you.  In 2002, a man sued Providence Hospital for $2 million after claiming the hospital was negligent because it didn’t prevent him from raping one of its patients.  Need we say the court threw out his case and threw him in the klink?

4.  Don’t make me watch that television show.  In 2005, a man sued NBC for $2.5 million.  He claimed an episode of the television program “Fear Factor” caused him “suffering, injury, and great pain” because watching contestants eat rats on television made him dizzy and light-headed, causing him to vomit and run into a doorway.  The case was thrown out of court and the man was left searching for some other way to get a free meal.

5. Finally, a no-lose lawsuit.  Taking the cake for frivolousness, in 1995, a man sued himself for $5 million claiming he had violated his own civil rights and religious beliefs by allowing himself to get drunk and commit crimes that landed him in jail on a 23-year sentence for grand larceny and breaking and entering.  Fortunately, the case was thrown out and the man was thrown back behind bars.

If you think these cases are fiction, go ahead and make my day … sue me.

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