If the Law is an Ass, Why Do Lawyers Talk Bullocks?

In almost any supposedly civilised country, the Statute Book is about a mile thick.

Many laws are arcane yet are never repealed, even if most of the time the judiciary cannot be bothered to take seriously anyone anal enough to dredge up the obsolete ordnance from 1583.  Many more laws are silly; think drugs laws which prohibit the use of Ecstasy which, although deaths have resulted from its consumption, is allegedly no more dangerous than riding a horse, and reputedly less risky than legal drugs from alcohol to paracetamol.

But a lot of laws are just plain annoying.  You know the ones I mean – the iniquitous laws such as the aforementioned drugs legislation, prostitution legislation, legislation about wearing seatbelts and a million other things you ought not to do incase you injure yourself.

It’s fine to protect someone you love from harm – and it’s stupid to take unnecessary risks.  It’s also laudable to have moral standards.  But when the only one in danger is you, you being an intellectually capable person who knows the risks and are able to make an informed judgement about them, then legislation is beyond the pale.  If you aren’t capable of making those judgements, then maybe you need looking after because in such a case a whole raft of laws isn’t going to be much help.

Sometimes, politicians make laws on the fly – ad hoc decisions hastily made without so much as a by-your-leave to common sense or decency – just so they will smell all rosy come election time.  This is especially pernicious when the laws lay on top of existing and perfectly serviceable laws, because just like one piece of paper lain not exactly square on another, the overall effect is to broaden the area blocking out the light of freedom.

The purpose of laws, surely, are to protect third parties from the harmful acts of others, and to settle disputes. There should be no laws outside this remit if we are to maintain freedoms.  That means the legalisation of drugs, with harsh penalties for those who misuse them.  That means the ability to drive as fast as the road/traffic conditions/pedestrian count will take – again with severe penalties for those who abuse that system.  It means prostitution should be legalised – which would be a good thing because however harsh the penalties for the activity, it’s never going to be eradicated, and legalisation means regulation which means better conditions for the sex worker.  It also means a lot of stupid laws – like not being able to walk around with a chicken on your head – are going to bite the dust.

Then again, given that most politicians used to be legal professionals, and who are therefore loath to cut off the income streams for their oppos back in chambers – primarily because self-same friends know where all the bodies are buried – that seems a forlorn dream.  And as a legal friend once said to me, the biggest crooks are not the criminals but those that try them.  We’re doomed!