A couple of months ago, a family member of mine sent me a photo and story of a guy and said do you recognize him?  It took me a minute but them I remembered that the two of them were friends.  The guy was one of the groomsmen at his wedding and I was one of the bridesmaids.

The wedding was years ago, maybe 12 or 13 years.  I had know Brad on and off for a couple of years around this time.  He seemed like a nice enough guy.  Handsome, quiet, polite.  I knew that him and his girlfriend at the time (not the wife he’s accused of murdering) had issues.  We thought it was mainly just jealousy on the part of his girlfriend though.

This man accused of murder is actually the first person outside of my family to babysit my first born child.  Luckily, my family member was there with him too.  But still.  Can you imagine finding out years later that you left your child with a murderer?  I know that nothing happened to my son while I was away but it definitely creeps me out that such violence would even come near my son.

When Brad and his girlfriend at the time broke up, I even thought about going after him myself.  He was handsome, a friend of the family and going to University.  I am such a lousy judge of character.  Thank goodness that I was a single mom going to University myself full time and did not have time for such foolishness as dating.

Not long after he broke up with his girlfriend, my family lost touch with him.  None of us has spoken to him in about a decade.  I’m glad that the contact ended when it did.  I’m not sure why my family member and him stopped being friends.  I think they just sort of drifted apart.

He is accused of murdering his wife.  They have two daughters together.  I don’t know if he did it or not.  I haven’t spoken to him in years.  How could a man treat his wife and the mother of his children so poorly?

Violence against women and domestic abuse occur at a staggering rate.  If you are in a situation where you are being abused, get help.  It will not get better.  He will not stop.  It could end tragically for you and your children.  You need to save yourself.  Go to a shelter.  Phone the police.  Move under the cover of night.  Do whatever you have to do to be safe.  Understand that you could be the next statistic.  The next woman to be killed by her husband or boyfriend.

If you think that someone in your life is being abused, talk to them about it.  Be supportive, not confrontational.  Do everything you can do to ensure their safety.  If you think children are in danger, it is your duty to ensure their safety.  Phone the police.  Phone child welfare services.  The violence has to stop.