Mediator Ethics

1. Do not Hear, Listen Actively:

Hearing is a mechanical process, whereas listening is an intellectual process. So, listen to both the sides carefully with complete undivided attention. Active listening comes through paraphrasing and asking questions before diving into a solution.

2. Do Not See, Look:

People see that there is a problem and try to resolve it. Mediators must not see; they need to look beyond what they see. An innocent may not be truly innocent after all. It could be a white tiger mimicking a zebra’s skin; or an innocent zebra having a white tiger’s appearance. Never go by the appearances as the book should never be judged by its cover.

3. Stay in Exact Middle:

Give equal importance to both the contenders and never show even a bit of partiality. If you feel that you may be partial, then it should be for both or else, it is better to get out of the mediator shoes.

4. No Prejudices Please:

Go into the mediation process with a totally open mind. Never judge the case before it is presented. More than doing injustice to the stakeholders, you end up doing injustice to yourself, as the person with prejudice masks himself and thinks he’s safe within the mask.

5. Keep Out Emotions:

If emotions may find their way to influence the mediation process, then it is best to stay out of the issue altogether. This world is full of good mediators and advisors. Leave it to them and let them do their job. For instance, if there is a brawl because of a questionable goal and you support the team which earned that goal, then it is good to just separate those who are physically involved and leave them, rather than getting in physically and explaining your stand.

6. Think of Win-Win:

Remember that both the parties should win at the end of the debate. This is not possible in all cases, but if the loser accepts that they deserve to lose, that is a win-win situation only.

7. Buy Time:

Never jump into the solution immediately. Think it over well and buy time to resolve. Even for physical fights, the first aid should be to separate them and calm them giving assurance that it can be resolved amicably.

8. Even Superman Needs Help:

Everyone needs assistance and if you are not the best mediator, it is best to ask for expert assistance. This would add to new perspective and prove that the solution is ideal. Even if you have arrived at a conclusion, it doesn’t hurt to check with those who are more experienced if the judgment is okay.

9. Be a Soaring Eagle:

Look at the larger picture – the whole problem. But do not miss out the little mouse that runs around – eye for detail.

10. Think Laterally:

You would already have 2 perspectives laid out in front of you, if there are two contenders. At times, there could me more too. So, use your lateral thinking skills and arrive at a radical solution.

Happy mediating!