So, I just found out today that a completely un- or under-publicised piece of legislation was signed into law by President Obama way back in June. You’d think that the Democrats would have been more vocal about having actually gotten something done all things considered. But no, this was kept pretty much under wraps, and the general public, myself included, has been nonethewiser.

This law, innocuously entitled the “Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act”, uses the guise of improving the health of all Americans via big-government regulation to essentially eliminate small-business competitors to big tobacco thus attacking not only these businesses themselves, but the free market in general. One of the provisions of the law forbids cigarettes to be flavoured with almost anything. Congress’ reasoning? Flavoured cigarettes supposedly encourage young people to smoke. Yet, in reality, only a very tiny percentage of teen smokers prefer the flavours expressly banned. Most buy unflavoured cigarettes. In fact, the only substantial flavour preference is menthol – a variety expressly excluded from the ban.

The exact wording of the law is this: “`(A) SPECIAL RULE FOR CIGARETTES- Beginning 3 months after the date of enactment of the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act, a cigarette or any of its component parts (including the tobacco, filter, or paper) shall not contain, as a constituent (including a smoke constituent) or additive, an artificial or natural flavor (other than tobacco or menthol) or an herb or spice, including strawberry, grape, orange, clove, cinnamon, pineapple, vanilla, coconut, licorice, cocoa, chocolate, cherry, or coffee, that is a characterizing flavor of the tobacco product or tobacco smoke. Nothing in this subparagraph shall be construed to limit the Secretary’s authority to take action under this section or other sections of this Act applicable to menthol or any artificial or natural flavor, herb, or spice not specified in this subparagraph.” [Source: Govtrack: H.R. 1256]

Why? By restricting Americans’ freedom to choose what flavours they ingest (not even what toxins mind you – the government is not forcing you to choose healthier options) the imported cigarette market is seriously damaged, especially clove cigarette imports. And smaller, more culinarily conscious tobacco companies will be run out of business. It’s a win-win situation for the company which owns Marlboro (the cigarette which the highest percentage of teens say is their smoke of choice). They endorsed this bill – not only because it will weasel themselves into an even greater windfall from their disgusting trade, but they will appear to be concerned, good samaritans as well! “Big tobacco: endorsement of bill which will decrease smoking among minors” sounds just wonderful, doesn’t it? Well, certainly better than “Big tobacco: bunch of lying, greedy lobbyists”.

So if cloves are your jam, buy them now, and in bulk. Possession will not be illegal, but as of September 1st, no one will be permitted to sell them.

tl;dr: Obamacare may not be too friendly to insurance companies, but it will be just swell for tobacco giants. Priorities? Screwed.