10 Excuses That Hinder Success: Mental Roadblocks That Masquerade as Reasons for Underachieving
by Some people set up mental roadblocks to successful living. Would you recognize excuses that prevent you from moving forward?
People make excuses for a whole host of unrealized objectives and blame others for their lack of success. But, are external factors really the culprit? There’s a maxim that is telling: if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.
Excuse #1: I’m the Way I am Because of my Parents (Blaming Others)
While it is true that people carry baggage from the past, this does not mean that they cannot move forward. Often, people choose to accept messages about their worth instead of challenging those messages. Even those with emotional scars can take ownership of the present. Blaming your parents for your current ills may be easier than taking ownership of your present reality and changing it for the better.
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There is real merit in the saying “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” Will you choose to live in the past or embrace the present?
Excuse #2: With the Right Circumstances I Would Have Been Brilliant (Blaming Circumstances)
Hmm . . . there are brilliant people who were abused as children, who lived in impoverished conditions, or who suffered from learning disabilities; however, because they were truly brilliant, that brilliance shone through.
Excuse #3: You Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tricks (Blaming Self)
Nonsense. The only time you are incapable of learning something new is when you are unconscious or dead. If you haven’t yet expired, it’s time to look at why you really don’t want to learn something. If you are honest, it may be because learning requires effort. Maybe the trick you’ve mastered is laziness.
Excuse #4: I Would Have Been a Musician or an Artist but my Parents Never Encouraged My Natural Ability (Blaming Others)
This is not actually true. A person who is musical has this ability innately. While ability can be polished, it has to actually be there in the first place. If you believe you have this ability, what is stopping you now? The same goes for artistic ability. If a person has artistic ability, it does not disappear mysteriously. What is preventing you from polishing it in the present? Could it be lack of ability or lack of motivation?
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Post CommentKate Smedley
On March 11, 2009 at 4:25 am
Very well said, I read a quote recently that where we are in life is the result of our thoughts and actions up to that point and that we can change both at any time to get to where we want to be. Excellent.
32 BarClay
On March 11, 2009 at 4:26 am
A wonderful piece that everyone should read. It is very difficult to see one’s own faults. Sometimes, we only recognize our faults when we accuse others of having that particular fault… many times we fail to reflect upon ourselves completely.
I was just brainstorming about this sort of idea… What self-inflicted obstacles are keeping us from our goals… You hit this topic on head , great work and Thank you for sharing!
Unofre Pili
On March 11, 2009 at 6:26 am
A very gratifying read. Thanks you.
Stacey T Pollock
On March 11, 2009 at 6:58 am
Fantastic article! I think that if someone wants something bad enough, they will not make excuses and will achieve it through self will. Maybe if they do use excuses they do not want it bad enough?
Athlyn Green
On March 11, 2009 at 9:33 am
For some years now, I have been studying people and how they react.
What always surprises me is that two people can have almost identical circumstances and while one seems to never go forward, the other does. In almost all cases, the attitude of each person is so very different.
I often think of Beethoven’s early harsh experiences. The world would have lost ‘Moonlight Sonata” if he had allowed his treatment/circumstances to come between him and his music.
OhSugar
On March 11, 2009 at 12:48 pm
This piece is very well written and very thought provoking. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for share it.
Jo Oliver
On March 11, 2009 at 1:19 pm
This will make a lot of people do some self examination. Your words are so true, and I agree with every word of this, except for excuse #9.
“Excuse #9: I’m a Victim of Circumstances (Blaming Circumstances)
While we can’t change what has happened to us and we can’t foresee future events, we can change how we choose to respond to challenges. If you don’t like your circumstances, work to change them. If you want a better future, do your best to create it.”
There are indeed many cases where people can take circumstance…..learn from it, change response, and work to change the circumstance. For example, a teenager that gets pregnant on a drunken night. She can not go back and not have unprotected sex or not drink, but she can make sure that she doesn’t let the mistake happen again. She can still work hard and make her future bright.
However, there are an equal number of people that find themselves in situations where circumstance not only can not be changed, but also directly influences future capability. For example, if a mother does everything right, but nature gives her a child with a disability. That mother can not responsibly change the circumstances. As much as she would like to create a better future, her permanent circumstances leaves her choices of response extremely limited. I have a handicapped child, and my choice to live in near poverty was not really a choice. It was either put my child in a nursing home so that I could earn a better living- OR- take SSI payments, and care for my child. So, sometimes circumstances are directly to blame for underachieving.
Athlyn Green
On March 11, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Ho Jo,
I mentioned in the article about physical limitations and that we can’t foresee the future, and I did not mean to imply that all circumstances could be changed. I was speaking in a general sense–when people use excuses rather than trying to make manageable things better.
I, too, am living with disabilities that I can’t necessarily change and these problems impact on my circumstances. But what I can control is how I choose to respond, making the best of what I have and actively working to lessen the impact. Now, some people, facing the same challenges, would simply give up.
It appears you did the same. You made a choice that was better for your child’s well-being. While your circumstances may not be within your power to control, as present, you impacted the quality of life for both you and your child. Rather than making excuses and abandoning your child to a nursing home, you are blessed with the time you spend with that child. Imagine how your child will view the fact that you loved him/her enough to spend that time with. And, if the child isn’t capable of this realization, you, as a mother, will be free of pangs of guilt.
The thrust of this article is to help people to see that it’s not always the cards we have been dealt but how we run with those cards. Self-empowerment means not permitting ourselves to be victimized, not making excuses for not doing or improving circumstances within our control, and when things are challenging, responding to those challenges so that we make the best of our circumstances.
Will we be seeing future articles where you share your insights and help others in the same situation? I’ll bet your insights would serve an encouragement for many in the same circumstances.
CutestPrincess
On March 11, 2009 at 3:26 pm
you have done really well to display this to bring it to attention!
Athlyn Green
On March 11, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Thanks. I think it’s important for people to adopt thinking strategies that help rather than hinder their potential.