Attack of the Energy Vampire
We all have our own personal energy field. This force determines how we feel, how we think, and how we function. Because our bodies are in constant contact with both good and bad energy it is important to maintain our own personal supply to stay composed, relaxed, and in tune with the world.
There are many ways to experience loss of personal energy. It can happen through, poor diet, lack of exercise, too little sleep, poor organizational skills, and surprisingly enough…by letting other people steal it from you. This is not a malicious attack nor is it a conscious act but simply the difference in how our bodies are wired.
There are two main personality types; introverts and extroverts. The non technical explanation for introvert is one who is shy and quiet. They are not usually the life of the party and would rather be alone than in a group. Introverts lead a more private life, they keep their personal thoughts to themselves, are usually non aggressive, and are compassionate. Introverts burn energy very quickly. Because they draw their energy from within, they must take periodic breaks from what they determine to be confusion. They retreat to quiet places where they surround themselves with an inner world of order, thoughts, and emotions. The introvert personality experiences energy drain very easily.
Extroverts are very sociable people. They make friends easily, are aggressive, and are always aware of what is going on around them. They usually don’t mind crowds, are active, assertive, outgoing, enthusiastic, talkative and impulsive. Their ability to talk non stop, speak loudly, and always be on the move takes an enormous amount of positive energy that burns quickly and is replaced by gathering energy from their surroundings. This means that if you happen to be within close proximity you could be an unsuspecting donor. This doesn’t mean extroverts are bad people and in all likelihood they are kind, thoughtful, and friendly.
Introverts most likely know or have met someone who just seems to tire them out by being near them. Most people are unaware of what is going on, some may become tired or nervous without knowing why, while others only know that they feel uncomfortable or uneasy.
It is important to know how to contain your energy and keep vampires from sucking away your strength.
- Be aware of energy vampires starting with the people in your life. Take a look at your family members, friends, and co-workers. Does anyone seem to drag you down, tire you out, or put you on edge for no apparent reason?
- Spend limited time around known energy vampires and try to keep space between you if possible. This doesn’t mean to sit at opposite sides of the room but find a polite compromise. If you are able, discuss with them why you would like to keep a certain distance apart.
- Meditate to center yourself and bolster your inner energies.
- If you find an acquaintance or co-worker physically draining, keep your distance whenever possible and have as little close contact as possible
Of course there are many other energy drains that have nothing to do with personality differences and it is a good idea to remedy any problems that you come in constant contact with. Limiting energy sapping situations will make your life much easier and more comfortable.
Negative relationships. When negativity builds causing an unnecessary and constant strain between friends your energy is being depleted. You may have to consider spending less time together.
Control issues. Sometimes we try to control everything that goes on around us. Some people feel a strong need to fix every problem that comes up but it is impossible to create a perfect world. Learn to let go. Remind yourself that you are only human and not Superhuman.
Unclutter the clutter. When you are surrounded with clutter and confusion your thoughts mirror your surroundings. You will spend more time trying to think clearly and work efficiently which only causes more wasted energy.
Unclean surroundings. It can be your house, yard, car, work place or anywhere else you spend a lot of time. Unclean conditions drain energy in much the same way as clutter. Cleaning up the disarray and dirt helps clean your mind and a clear and competent mind uses less energy.
Unfinished business. Whether it is a list of unfinished errands or letters that need to be written you need to deal with them. As long as they are left unfinished they continue to distract you. Get them done and take back the energy you spent stressing over them.
Energy sapping stress is often overlooked. Most people don’t realize when it’s happening to them because sapping and rebuilding of energy has gone on their entire life without their knowledge. They are usually unaware of the process or blame some other problem for it. If they are suddenly tired they might think they slept poorly or if they feel a little weak they might think it’s from lack of food. While these reasons happen easily and are true enough symptoms, sometimes it’s the energy vampire standing behind you at the check out counter.
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User Comments
Dee Huff
On January 9, 2008 at 6:30 am
Darlene, you’re so right! This is one of my main problems that I struggle with constantly, and boils down to bad organizational skills which result in clutter, mess, procrastination, unfinished projects and tasks, stress etc.etc., and you’re right, it does drain your energy. Very well explained. Thank you. I’m trying to pull my socks up!
Anne Lyken-Garner
On January 9, 2008 at 6:52 am
You are spot on about the type of people who drain your energy. There are so many people who are great encouragers and supporters, but on the other hand, the drainers do more damage than they know.
It is difficult though, when it’s a co-worker. You can’t possibly get away from him/her
Darlene McFarlane
On January 9, 2008 at 7:48 am
My sister is one of the strongest energy sappers I know. I only need to be near her for a short time and I am drained. I love my sister and would never think of avoiding her because of the differences in our body chemistry so, one day I explained to her how she was able to knock my whole being out of kilter in a matter of minutes. To my surprise she told me that others have mentioned this as well. I’m glad I was able to talk to her and that she understood. I now know that she will understand if I feel the need to occasionally remove my self to take a walk and refuel.
IcyCucky
On January 9, 2008 at 8:09 am
I can definite point out the energy sappers in my life, because I feel very drained when I’m around them.
Great article, Darlene!
lanne
On January 9, 2008 at 8:23 am
GREAT article. It was worth the wait. I never thought of these people as vampires, but that is exactly what they do…suck all the good stuff out of you.
Darlene McFarlane
On January 9, 2008 at 8:52 am
Thank you all for your positive remarks.
Josey
On January 9, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Wow, I really enjoyed this. I believe much of it to be true. I feel like my kids steal my energy a lot of times and I know when something is on my mind (unfinished business) or when my house is cluttered that my energy and stress level are not where they need to be. I will keep all of this in mind. Thanks!
Josey
louie jerome
On January 9, 2008 at 2:40 pm
A really informative article. There are several people around me who leave me feeling drained and even depressed at times. I can’t tell them this without upsetting them so maybe it’s time to distance myself a little bit now and again.
Alexa Gates
On January 9, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Wow! I never would have thought that just being in a cluttered room makes a person tired. Or that different personalities tires a person out
THnaks so much for writing this 
Jared Stenzel
On January 9, 2008 at 8:27 pm
The unfinished business is probably the most relevant one on the list for me. Great research!
Darlene McFarlane
On January 9, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Josey, I think that kids are a big energy drain. My kids are all grown now but I remember what a trying time I had with my two boys…It sure tired me out!
Louie, I was thinking of you when I was writing this one. In your line of work you would be in contact with many different personalities in a day. Dealing with problems of others would be hard too.
Alexa, I never knew why I had to have organization and open space around me when I worked until I found out about energy and how quickly it can be drained. It’s like my inner me knew what to do even if I didn’t.
Jared, I find if there is something I have left undone it niggles at me until I can’t stand it any more. I am sure this causes needless use of precious energy.
Thank you all for taking the time to read.
Lucy Lockett
On January 10, 2008 at 3:37 am
Wonderful article Darlene, we have to learn to deal with all of these situations and recognising them is the hardest part. I think many people will benefit from reading this. It is well written.
shaun ashcroft
On January 10, 2008 at 11:37 am
Happy New Year Darlene and what a great postive piece to start the year with. You succinctly outline the issue without in any way making it mumbo jumbo. If you were to submit this article to a scientific journal, they would throw you out but, and this is my point, WE ALL KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN! You have described something that most of us could not have put words to before although we knew the problem.
It must be the extroverted introvert within you!
Darlene McFarlane
On January 10, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Happy New Year to you too Shaun.
My intention was to make the article as down to earth as possible. It is more of a problem than many of us know and once we are aware of it, we can then work at helping ourselves work around it.
If you read my comment above, my sister’s ability to sap energy from others is amazing. She and I were once fooling around with a pendulum. I usually place my free hand under it and so my sister did as well. Her magnetic force is so strong that before her hand got near the bottom of the pendulum, it pulled taught on it’s chain at about a 60 degree angle. She is a horse therapist and does wonders with animals. A great profession for someone with her powers.
Thank you for your comment, Shaun.
Judy Sheldon-Walker
On January 10, 2008 at 7:39 pm
Darlene, you hit the nail on the head with this one. Very well done. Thank you. (Sometimes we marry those vampires. lol)
Ruby Hawk
On January 10, 2008 at 8:47 pm
You are right Darlene, I am an introvert and some people take all my energy. I must have my quiet time. It’s hard though, you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
SarahJane
On January 11, 2008 at 5:20 pm
wow.
you write really well.
(=
thanks for the comments!
Joe Poniatowski
On January 17, 2008 at 9:58 am
Awesome write-up, Darlene.
Nick Kenney
On January 18, 2008 at 7:58 am
Great advice, Darlene! Jan is an extrovert and I’m an introvert.
I have come across a lot of people that wear me out and I try to get away from them.
ranfuchs
On January 24, 2008 at 6:09 pm
when you speak about ‘energy field’ are you talking metaphorically or physically?
Darlene McFarlane
On January 24, 2008 at 10:52 pm
#20 ranfuchs
We have a physical energy field. Try this…Rub your hands together briskly for about 30 – 40 seconds then hold your hands in front of you about 8 inches apart facing each other. Slowly bring your hands together and as they get closer to one another you should be able to feel a light force. Once you feel that force between your hands, quickly move your hands back and forth (to and from each other) in small movements without touching them together. When you move your hands back and forth you should feel a slight heaviness between them. If you can’t move your hands closer to each other. The only way I can describe it is, it’s like having a firm piece of jello between your hands. What you are feeling is your own energy.
Geordie Janner
On January 25, 2008 at 10:33 am
My Kids are the biggest energy drainers in the world!!
Darlene McFarlane
On January 25, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Thank you Gordie for taking time to read my article. I know what you mean about kids draining your energy…thankfully those days are over for me. A little more energy for me.
manodogs
On February 26, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Great article! I think such people have specific, common psychological traits that can help you ID them, but the trouble lays in the fact that we often know something intellectually that we do not want to face emotionally. For example, I recently had a female friend who I knew (intellectually) was sucking me dry, taking advantage of me, lying to me, and just generally wearing me out; emotionally, I could not bring myself to admit this and end the relationship until very recently. Even now, I miss her, knowing full-well that she is a toxic person.
Great post and thanks!
susan
On March 16, 2008 at 11:34 pm
There is a very good video by Judith Orloff M.D. on YouTube about energy vampires. Perhaps you will find it as interesting as I did.
R.B. Parsley
On July 13, 2008 at 12:25 am
Darlene,
I have learned that you should ignore energy vampires as much as possible. I have a friend who thinks they know everything! especially when it comes to writing or playing music. This particular friend doesn’t know that first guitar chord, or that first drum beat! So whenever I’m around this friend I ignore everything they say.
This is a very good article
Randy
Hugo LaRosa
On August 8, 2008 at 6:50 am
Wow. This is exactly right. I’m an introvert, and is good to know that this things happen, and why. You have given me a life lesson. From now on I will check on those people that do that and I will do my best in following your advice. Thank you again.
Hazel
On August 10, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Thank you for the clarification. I was around a male energy vampire who was cruel and verbally abusive but oh so charming when he wanted something. Be on the lookout for verbally abusive people as they are usually energy vampires and use intimidation to try and control us and keep us around. Like it works, haha
Ash
On February 25, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Great article. I feel energy sapped constantly and now realise it is mainly due to people (an aunt in particular) who take up hours of my time wanting to engage in social chit chat frequently. I can’t be everybody’s best friend as I only have limited amount of time and energy and have my own life to lead. I loved the fact that the article also deals with those other insiduous energy sappers like unfinished business (I am guilty of this)….it helps put things into perspective to develop a plan to attack these energy stealers.
Hawksoul
On July 22, 2009 at 9:01 pm
I have energy vampires in my environment too…
One of them is my own sister.
Last time she was there for 2 hours, and when she left I felt exchausted and confused and from that day I feel bad and unmotivated. I avoided from that day, but I want to know how to get my energy back.
Please answer me, because I am in a health risk every day that passes by, I feel like something is missing from my energy field and I want it back.
Your article is helpfull (since I am a introvert) but I sense I deserve to take my drained energy back as soon as possible because I will go psysically or mentally sick. I want to know how to take back the energy that is mine and how to grow a shield to protect my energy from being drained by other people. I really need an answer, since I like to live a healthy energy life, free of health problems and full of positive, creative, fantasy like energy… ^_^ Thank you in advance ^_^
lynda howard
On July 23, 2009 at 1:44 pm
I feel for you.
I have 3 sisters who are energy vampires.
They have turned into bad examples for me and my 2 children and my pet cat Spot.
I was forced to put distance between my family and them.You are hereby invited to be a friend of mine.
This sounds like you need someone who truely understands.
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