Childfree: A Valid Choice

“When are you going to have babies,” my friend asked over the phone a few years ago, her daughter crying in the background. 

“I don’t know if we’re going to have any,” I said cheerfully.  I’ve been asked the question many times before, and always try to answer in a considerate way.  I knew she meant well.  She just wanted for me to be as happy as she was in her new role.  But the thought of having a baby does not bring happy thoughts to me.  It brings thoughts of late nights when I don’t get any sleep, money wasted on piano or tennis lessons that get dropped and fights with my husband over childcare issues and the lack of time we have together. That’s why we have chosen to love childfree. Being childfree is the conscious choice not to have children, while childlessness is wanting to have children and not being able to. 

We hadn’t always thought of living childfree.  When we first got married, we assumed at some point we would have children.  For years the idea was still in our minds, but the time never seemed right for us.  We were busy with our work and our lives, and the thought of adding another thing didn’t seem to fit.  It wasn’t until sixteen years after we were married that we finally came to the conclusion that children just weren’t right for our lives.

There are many reasons couples chose to live childfree.  They think there are already too many children in the world for the environment to support, they don’t like the behavior of children, they are too focused on their jobs, or they want the freedom that having children doesn’t allow among many other reason. 

More women in the U.S. are choosing to live a childfree life. The 2003 U.S. Census found that 44%of women between the ages 15-44 do not have children.  This does not mean that they will not, but at the time they didn’t.  More older women are defining themselves as being childfree. The level of childlessness among women 40 to 44 years old in June 2006, 20 percent, is twice as high as 30 years ago.   People who are childfree tend to be more educated, are white collar workers and have higher incomes.