Crossroads in Life

I am at a crossroad in my life. About six months ago I walked out of a 9 to 5 job that was causing me months of stressful sleepless nights and days of dread. I thought, yes, I will finally try to pursue a freelance writing career from home.

For the next two months, I worked tirelessly. I had not given myself the chance to find a well paid freelance writing position and was simply ghost writing articles from home. While the idea of waking up in your pj’s and being able to just type away and get paid sounds like a dream, the pay was next to nothing per article and I kid you not, I was writing about one hundred articles per week to make ends meet. I ended up writing for about 10 hours a day and as you can imagine, I had very little contact with anyone outside. It became a very isolating, yet rewarding experience.

I learned that under pressure and certain circumstances I had an incredible wealth of imagination and ability to create new material every given moment of the day than I had ever fathomed before. It also made me realize that if I ever choose to do such a thing again, I must really work hard and work up to such a step. There are incredible freelance writing opportunities available, however you must submit to many places first in order to be accepted by any one of them. You must be prepared for plenty of rejections or no replies at all. You must be prepared to work hard with little reward until you work up an impressive portfolio.

This situation combined with another business opportunity that proved to be unreliable propelled me in a state of financial and emotional desperation to contact my “adopted” family that I had been estranged from for the past eight years. While I had hoped for the best, this did not prove to be a successful event; too many difficult details to go into in one article alone. During this time, I was also the victim of a con artist who robbed me and damaged my property. You might say “When it rains it pours.”

I began to question God and why he was putting me through all of this.

With the pressing desperation of the need for income, I luckily went for an interview for a sales position and was called back the same day for the job. I was thrilled, but due to the stress I had been going through (and still was going through) I fell ill for a complete month. I not only thought I had an ulcer, I could hardly move or eat anything I had off and on fevers as high as 102 degrees. I couldn’t understand after everything in my life, being abandoned as an infant to all the struggles I have been through in my life why God seemed to need to keep testing me.