Finding Your Happy

So what is the key to “happy?” That’s up to the individual, but I have some suggestions:

1. Accept that you aren’t going to feel content every moment of your life. Life can be a struggle, but even in the midst of darkness, we do find moments of happiness. You are not a failure and there isn’t anything wrong with your life because you don’t feel happy all of the time.
2. Don’t expect your “happy” to look like someone else’s. It probably won’t, but that doesn’t mean your feelings are not as valid as the next person’s. Figure out what makes you feel good, strive for more of whatever that is, and appreciate your uniqueness!
3. Remember moments when you have experienced joy, and drown yourself in those memories. Write them down. Keep a “Joy Journal” that you can refer back to, to remind you of what is possible in life, and what brings you happiness. You might find that you have more happy moments than you thought!
4. Try to live in the moment and truly experience the “happy” when it happens. It doesn’t have to be a major event. It might be the feel of the sun on your arm, the scent of the breeze or listening to a child giggle, but we all have moments of absolute contentment or delight. There may be no real reason for it, but you somehow feel that all is well. At times like this, take a moment to appreciate what you are experiencing and just drink in the feeling.
5. When you can’t find happiness, give happiness instead. Do a small favor for someone else; bless them in some way that you know will brighten their day. Doing something wonderful for another person cannot help but boost your spirits. When you overwhelm someone with joy, it’s impossible for some of it not to run off on you!
6. Bring in some external “happy.” Watch a feel-good movie; read an inspiring story; listen to music that speaks to your soul; paint brilliant colors on a canvas (or on your wall!); spend time with someone who makes you laugh. Do something that you know will make you smile and then smile until your face hurts!
7. Decide to be happy! Abraham Lincoln said, “Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” Make up your mind that you are going to be happy and then do it. It’s not as simple as it sounds, but attitude is everything. Make “happy” your goal. Fake it until you make it, as they say. Practice makes perfect!
8. Never forget that happiness is an inside job. It isn’t about finding the right person, or living in your dream house or having the perfect job. It isn’t about waiting for some external force to come into your life to make you feel a certain way. These things give us momentary satisfaction, but true happiness comes from inside.

Finally, remember that happiness is what you make it, how you interpret it and ultimately up to you. However, if you suffer from depression, whether clinical or situational, get help. Reach out to a friend, therapist or doctor, someone who can help lead you out of your darkness. You do not have to live in that kind of despair. Regardless of how you feel at this moment, tomorrow is a brand new day. You deserve a little slice of “happy!”