Photographer: Triond’s Dee Huff

It is vital to remember that stress does not come from the outside. It’s the way in which we react to external situation which causes stress, and not those situations themselves. Always keep in mind that happy people are those who stay upbeat even in rough times, and positive in times of distress. If good times categorically brought elation and hard times desperation, then we all would be a bunch of depressed people.

Sometimes we allow the small percentage of people in the world, who have fame and fortune to be the measuring stick against which we rate our lives. We forget that unlike them we live normal lives, we have to manage our own finances, battle our own health and weight issues, raise our own children and travel without a posse to carry our physical and emotional baggage.

In order to do all of these things effectively, we need to forget the rat race to fame and fortune and maintain a measure of calmness in our lives. Let’s see how this is done.

1. Be a Constant Gardener

   

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   Even if you live in a flat, find time to pot up plants (even vegetables can be grown in pots with a measure of care) and look after them. No one worries while gardening. One only has to try it to see the psychological benefits growing something from scratch brings. Even if you aren’t one of the green fingered bunch, maybe a good start for you would be to volunteer at a local garden centre for a few hours a week, you’ll find that the further your hands sink into the dirt, the deeper your problems get buried.

2. Write Your Worries Away

   

   Outline your problems on a clean sheet of paper, then under each of them, lay out the worst possible, and the best possible outcomes. At the end of the page, record what you think would actually happen (which would fall somewhere in-between)

   Have a look at the piece of paper when you feel that this problem has reached a point of resolution. You will find that the worst possible outcome hardly ever happens. Doing this often, for all of your problems will soon show you that the worst seldom happens. When problems arise in the future you will have documented proof that the outcome is rarely as bad as you think.

3. Go Ahead and Cry

   

   This is why we were given the privilege – yes privilege – to cry. There is nothing better to release hurt, anguish or stress like a good cry, especially if it’s on someone else’s shoulder. Grab a friend and have a good cry. If someone else is in need of a shoulder, lend one and let them cry. Then have a deep long breath and feel the brunt of the hurt wash away.

4. Choose a Breathing Place

   

   A lot of times we’re breathing shallowly without even being aware of it. Having a special breathing place will enable you to go there to relax. A certain room, chair, bench, mat etc. Soon just the act of taking time off and going to this designated spot will relax you. Breathe deeply and let go of mind-aches even if it’s for 10 minutes a day.

   Like other young siblings, my daughters argue with each other, so I’ve devised a way to make them take responsibility of talking through their differences with each other. Whenever their arguments escalate, I put them on the “talk mat” which is a special mat used exclusively for this purpose. I get the mat out, spread it on the floor and make them sit on it until they’ve come to a compromise which will suit them both. I hardly ever get involved, I just let them sort it out. It used to take them ages to work things out. Nowadays, even if they’re screaming at each other, the sight of the mat induces calm. In no time they work things out and come to find me to tell me of the solution.

   Similarly, a calming place, will at first seem odd, but soon, it will start to work for you almost in an instant.

5. Eat Healthily

   
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   Try to eat natural foods like fruit, nuts, grains, and drink lots of water. A good, clean diet makes you look good, keeps you young and feeling great. When external troubles hit a healthy happy individual, he/she is more able to cope than someone who’s overweight, underweight, unhealthy and dehydrated.

With calm on our side, stress is still likely to attack, but not as often, and certainly not with it’s acute blow.

Having discussed the physical steps to take towards building our resistance to stress, the second part of this article will be linked to our psychological targets.