Happiness: Simple Emotion or a Choice?

Does happiness just happen or can you choose to be happy even when it seems to be impossible?

If you ask 1000 People tomorrow on any street corner, in any country from any walk of life about the top 3 things they want out of life, being happy will be one of them. It is one of the most thought after feelings out there and still so many of us seem to have a problem with that elusive feeling of happiness. If you are reading this Article, then you too have questions about your own feelings of happiness.

For that reason, I have put together a short 10 Point interactive Note Article, each ending in a Question that I challenge you to answer to yourself. There is no right or wrong answers, nor are there any scores to be tallied up at the end of the Questions. However, what it will give you if you are completely honest with your-self is a better insight into your-self and more options on how to handle your happiness or lack thereof.

So if you are ready, grab a notebook, a pen or pencil, a chair and some quiet time.

Each of us find happiness in something or someone different. Today more and more people find happiness in possessions, other people or fame. We seek validation for our right to be happy in the acceptance of our own self-worth in our Parents, Friends, Partners or even Co-Workers. In some cases, even the Stranger we meet on the Street can take our happiness away from us. Question #1: What is your core need for happiness? What do you need to be happy?

Happiness through misery – Sounds like an oxymoron I know, but have you ever been around a Person that only seems to be truly happy when he/she was miserable? How about someone that is never content unless they make someone else miserable as well? Do you know anybody that seems to suck all the joy out of life just be walking into a room and opening their mouth? Are you a negative Person or someone that prides them-selves on being always realistic, never permitting them-self a bit of hope? Such People are like Vampires, sucking your life energy and hope right out of you. Question #2: Do you seem to be drawn to miserable people or are your-self most comfortable being miserable? Do you feel like a victim most of the time?

Happiness: A feeling or a choice? – Happiness is a feeling or emotion, irrational and uncontrollable correct? True and False. Being happy is also a choice. It is an outlook on life. We can’t be happy all the time, but we can choose to be happy with what we have instead of always wanting what we don’t have. How often have said: “I would be happy if only…..”, just to receive what you were looking for and still weren’t happy? There are times when being happy, seems almost impossible, but you can feel a little happier when focusing on positive things instead of the bed. Question #3: What are at least 10 things can be happy about right now?

When happiness seems to be an illusion or a myth – Some of us never have been happy or they wouldn’t know what it feels like to be happy. They are looking for the giggly, walking on clouds kind of thunder and lightning kind of happy. Sometimes, happiness shows itself in small ways, easily overlooked. Sometimes it masquerades as a feeling of contentment. The little sister to being happy. Question #4: Can you name ways that tell you that you are happy?

Finding happiness in small things – As you grow older your ideas and needs change. As a small child you were easy to make happy. An Ice-Cream cone, a pretty butterfly, Nature Walks, running until you couldn’t breathe anymore. All those simple things could bring you pleasure and make you happy. As you got older your requirements for happiness changed. Question #5: Can you name small things that make you happy? Best are the once that are given naturally or you can find without having to spend any or a lot of money.

Loss of something very special – There are times when sorrow overtakes everything and it seems like we will never be happy again. At those times it is the hardest to find anything positive to see. Take the loss of a loved one or a divorce, at such times tears, anger and frustration are the at hand. In order to get back to the good parts of our lives, we have to learn to deal with drama, trauma, pain, disillusionment and more. However, once you can look honestly and openly at things you can find even in the darkest of moments a little piece of light and happiness. Often it is in a memory. It is that little tiny bit that most of us wouldn’t even see as happiness that will get us through. Question #6: What was your darkest moment and what was the tiny little piece of light?

The happiest Time of your Life – If we can see what makes us the happiest in the past we might be surprised that it wasn’t at all what we thought it would have been. However, if we can see the basis or core of it, we can find a way to duplicate this event. If of course falling in love with your spouse and marrying them was the happiest moment of your life, I don’t suggest you go out and find someone else to duplicate it. What you can do however is do some of the things you did together when you first fell in love, or do something to rekindle that feeling of courtship. Hold on to the feeling of new exciting love, remember it and don’t let go. Question #7: What was the single happiest moment of your life and why?

Happiness within yourself – That has to be one of the hardest things to do for most of us. I want you to dig deep inside yourself and find those things that make you proud about yourself, find achievements you have had all by your-self. Something you overcame. Something you finally tried and mastered. Those are cause for being happy and that kind of happiness nobody can ever take away from you without your permission. Question #8: Name at least 5 things that you are happy about within your-self.

Possessions equal happiness – Can possessions make you happy for very long? Do you have things you own that make you happy? Question #9: What possessions make you happy and what about them make you feel that way?

Only one thing in the whole wide world – If you could only have one talent, one person, one thing or one memory in the whole wide world tomorrow and everything else would be taken away or erased. What in the end really counts to you? If you are a parent and you answer kids/spouse that counts as one. Think really long and hard. The one thing in each category that makes you happy.Question #10: What would it be?

I hope you have stuck with me so far and you have taken the time to answer my questions truthfully. If you read the answers you gave very carefully you will see a pattern and an answer forming. You will see where you need improvements in your life and are now able to make them. Remember, happiness doesn’t always stay at the same level and sometimes we must be unhappy to appreciate it when we once again can find happiness within ourselves. Nature has designed us that way.

A final thought: Happiness, attractiveness, sensuality and love

A great Body is wonderful and it can bring us and our Partners a lot of happiness for a while. I have found however that a person that is slightly flawed and happy is far more attractive in the long run then a perfect Barbie or Ken Doll type. Happiness breeds self-confidence and that is sensual, attractive and worthy of love. That includes love of ones self.