How to Love Yourself When No One Has Loved You

If you have never been loved it is difficult to know what love is, and even more so to love yourself.

Without self love, you may fall into the repeat pattern of enduring vicious and abusive relationships, simply because you have no idea of what real love is.

However, there is a way out. You can begin to love yourself and in doing so, can begin to love others and finally, receive love.

I must warn you though, for those of us who have never been loved learning how to love yourself and receive love from others is a long journey; one with pitfalls and dips, just like a journey through a barren, dusty, valley. The trick is to dust yourself off each time you fall down, and to learn the tools that will aid your survival.

Like Bear Grylls, before you can embark on your journey to self love, you need two things: Tools, and a destination.

Let me paint you a picture. Self love looks like this. It is basically a colourful place, where you are who you are and you do what you want, not what others expect of you.  You accept yourself with all of your flaws, crevices, and do-wrongs. You look at yourself in the mirror and you see a beautiful you and you find yourself less and less likely to hear yourself say, ‘Oh man I should’ve …’, ‘I’m so (substitute your preferred adjective here)fat, lazy, mean, ugly’.

Yes. Self love is about self acceptance, and not about self loathing or rejection. Keep this sight in front of you as you travel and you will eventually reach this place.

Next, before we set off on our journey, we need to ensure we have the right tools. Any well travelled person will tell you that they have a survival toolkit with them whenever they go travelling . When taking a long drive they ensure they have petrol, the correct tyre pressure, oil and perhaps a map. A trip to the outback or such other far flung destination and they may pack hiking boots, rain coat, and first aid kit.

Before you embark on your journey to self acceptance, you will need the following tools:

A smile. Just because it’s the easiest thing to carry and will probably open a lot more doors for you than you think.