How to Talk to Yourself

Making yourself happy is not a one time event; it is a lifetime process. As a psychologist who has worked with thousands of people-most of whom will tell you they have achieved happiness and kept it-I share the following thoughts with you.

1. Realize that only you can make yourself happy. Every single day first thing in the morning (and then throughout the day) you need to tell yourself “Only I can make me happy.” Because of the brainwashing by advertisers and society you most likely have the habit of thinking that your happiness lies somewhere other than inside your self. You may tell yourself that having lots of money or someone else loving you or getting fame and recognition will fix you on the inside. This error prevents you from becoming truly happy.

Start every day (first thing in the morning) by saying s-l-o-w-l-y “Only I can make me happy…”

• a) You must do this 45 days in a row before it starts to take hold
• b) If you miss one day, add three (3) more days to allow it to take hold
• c) To become stronger, make this statement more than once a day

2. Only be around positive people. (This is not easy more than 80% of people are predominantly negative).

• When people start speaking negatively, leave . Consider negativity to be poison ivy-bad for you
• Tell people you choose to only be around positivity

3. Remind yourself that being happy requires work -especially at the beginning of your change. Increase your potential for happiness every single day by setting your mind and heart to do whatever it takes to turn your thinking (and feeling) around. For example:

• Every single day write out (slowly ) a simple sentence such as “I am responsible for my happiness”-at least three times per day
• Spend at least three minutes a day reading uplifting material about positive thinking (for example, the book 14,000 Reasons to be Happy)

Sound too easy? I once challenged 400 adult business people and professionals attending one of my seminars to do these two things ten days in a row. I offered an incentive of $500.00 if anyone could do it.

Not one person collected .

4. Change how you speak to yourself (in that “inner voice” we all have). The one central principle is making yourself happy is this: The most important messages you receive every day are the messages you give yourself! How you talk to yourself reflects your thinking and your thinking creates a mindset-and feelings that match that mindset. And yet you will not pause to think about the original message you created because you concentrate on how bad you feel.