I Used to Hate Strippers
by You should never judge a book by its cover. Or in this case, a stripper by her stiletto.
I used to hate strippers (and models). I hated them for what I thought they were and what I thought I wasn’t. A lot of women hate exotic dancers, for a variety of reasons. They hate them because their men look at them, because they are in better shape than them, because they are more in touch with their sexuality, because they are more confident. I could go on and on.
I was in quite a financial situation about seven years ago, and decided to become a stripper. It may be politically incorrect, but I like the word stripper. I did for seven years, so I can call myself whatever I want. I walked into the club believing every bad thing I had ever heard, and scared that I would become a horrible person.
What I found was a bunch of normal girls with fewer clothes on than at my other job. These girls had homes, children, even husbands, and in some cases, other jobs. They were there for the same reason I was; more money. Sure, there were girls there with drug problems and girls with questionable ethics and self respect….but I’ve worked with girls like that everywhere I ever had a job. They just weren’t in stilettos. Nudity (or partial nudity) becomes “part of the job”, and dancing is an art form. You fall in love with the money, the attention, even the lights. You feel like a goddess when the DJ calls your name and all eyes are on you. The dancers are not there for sexual satisfaction. They are there to express their sexuality, and to be an expression of sexual fantasy.
Women who get angry at their men for going to strip clubs should go with them on couple’s night and see for their selves that it’s not like it is on TV. Sure, there are clubs and girls that will do extras, but if your man is that determined to go elsewhere, he will anyway. He will meet a girl somewhere, or get a friend to hook him up. He can find a shady cab driver that can find him whatever type of girl he wants for less money.
The bottom line is; most strippers are only entertainers. Most real exotic dancers realize that they are not just strippers. The whole word is striptease. The nasty girls come and go in every club, but no more frequently than anyplace else your boyfriend or husband may go.
Think about it mathematically. If a club has 40 girls on shift, about 30 of them (I’m estimating) are legit, so 10 are doing extras of some kind, if not at the club, then after work. The same ratio applies everywhere. If a restaurant has 20 females on shift, wouldn’t it be a fair assumption that 15 of them are legit, leaving 5 that have questionable sexual practices? That’s only 25%.
It doesn’t matter where they work….a girl that will mess with a taken man will do it wherever she meets him. And a man who is going to do you wrong is going to do it anyway. So don’t hate the strippers….besides, the ones that have really made in the game have a habit of chasing off the bad ones.
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Post CommentKim
On May 22, 2008 at 11:30 am
Wow that really sheds some light on that topic! Wonderful article!!!
CATHY
On May 22, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I NEVER LOOKED AT THINGS QUITE LIKE THAT. THIS ARTICLE REALLY OPENS UP YOUR EYES. THANKS FOR WRITING IT!!!!
MzKiTTyG
On May 22, 2008 at 3:11 pm
u daym skippy!!!!!!! PREACH ON MY SISTA PREACH ON!!!!!! TELL THEM WHAT THEY DONT KNOW…AND WHAT WE KNOW! OMG I WANNA READ MORE ON STRIPPERS!! LMAO! AND I LOVE THE WORD STRIPPER TOOO!! HAHAHAHA
Beth
On May 23, 2008 at 10:23 am
Wow….a stripper that writes.
Theresa (Mom)
On May 29, 2008 at 2:44 pm
I am proud of my daughter. She did what she had to do to take care of her children and did a really good job of raising them with little or no help from anyone,let alone welfare. This is my girl and she said it eloquently. Strippers are people,too-and as far as the men who come to see them,anyone can look! How many of you ladies have gone to a club to see male strippers??? Hmmmm-shoe is on the other foot!
PiXiE
On June 17, 2008 at 9:29 am
This is true-I was a stripper also & alot of women looked down on me because I took my clothes off! I was in the best shape of my life when I danced & I would do it again in a heartbeat!
Chelsea
On November 22, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Sorry, but there are more honest ways to make your money. I know plenty of intelligent and extremely fit and attractive young women (myself included) who aren’t so morally bankrupt that they stoop to the level of stripping. No matter what is said about it, it takes a very damaged person to be able to degrade herself by prancing around like a tramp on stage.
That “job” is NOTHING to brag about – people are disgusted by strippers for good reasons! Most of you have come from broken families and abusive households but you need to overcome that. No one will ever respect you once they learn you are a stripper; they may pretend to but they are truly disgusted. Get a real job.
re: the above
On December 2, 2008 at 2:10 am
morals are silly human constructs made by humans that deny the fact that they are animals. self-rightiousness especially alligned with the word “morals” parallels any other subway crackpot soapboxer… and because of people like you, most strippers *don’t* brag about their job. you miss the point of this entry: trying to increase perspective in a largely narrow-minded world.
Sincerely,
a stripper
Laughing at Chelsea
On January 22, 2009 at 9:57 am
Even though it’s been a while since you posted…have to laugh at you. I worked in corporate treasury for a Fortune 500 company – B.S. with honors and a financial designation after my name. Then my company had to downsize due to the economy…and my specialty was no longer in demand since other companies were doing the same. So instead of using your tax dollars to feed my children I danced at a club on the weekends 400 miles away from my home. That took sacrifice…but if I should find myself in that position again I’ll be sure to contact you for a generous financial contribution since you have all the answers.
Perelandra#Freestrippertips.com
On February 2, 2009 at 3:04 am
Thanks for writing this article! Not all blonds are dumb and not all strippers are promiscuous tweekers! Albeit, some -are- smarter than others.
Chelsea, you are very sad...
On April 5, 2009 at 6:15 am
People often forget that there are shady shady people in EVERY profession. Ironically, I was sexually harassed way more in my office (which was also at a Fortune 500 brokerage company) than I ever was in a strip club. Only at that point, there was no bouncer to throw the guys out and causing an HR scandal would have done more harm than good due to the “good ole’ boy system” that permeates the financial sector. I’ve met way more depressed, drug addicted, coked-out, alcoholic Doctors and Lawyers than I ever did strippers.
Dancers dance for a reason and are typically there by choice. Most people with what you call “respectable” jobs are the most depressed, screwed up people I’ve ever seen…they are caught up in the 9-5 web with only weekends (and whatever vacation the company decides to give them) to have a life. It’s pretty nice to have unlimited earnings potential, the tax benefits of being an independent contractor, the option to choose what day and time to go into work and all the vacation you could ever want, should you decide to take it. Not to mention, they aren’t harped on by little mealy-mouthed bosses about sales targets, quarterly numbers or any of that other corporate busy work BS.
That is what we all would wish for if we could make the perfect job, yet people verbally bludgeon them to death with close minded comments and judgment. Any intelligent person would know that dancing is mainly two things: customer service and sales…the basis for almost any career. I’d rather have a beautiful, confident woman take the time to talk with me and sell me some dances than have some sweet-talking insurance salesman knock on my door and try to trap me into an annuity. Come on now, sheesh.
To: Chelsea
On April 13, 2009 at 7:11 pm
You are clearly one of those constipated women, who know, that their hubby/boyfriend is secretly going to the stripjoints to receive what he does not get at home and that is why you consider us a threat. I am a stripper and a psychologist, and very comfotable with my bth jobs
sw33tfanny
On September 25, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I must heartily disagree with this article. My strong dislike of strippers does not stem from envy. I have 15% body fat and am facially prettier than any stripper. Simply put stripping is not honest work, you are selling the illusion of sex. It is a cope out to site financial difficulty. I am presently in a financial bind, but there are things I will not do. I have a rear end that can stop traffic, but I would not be proud of myself if I shook it in someone’s face for money. The statement that stripping make you feel like a goddess is hilarious.
caseymarks
On January 10, 2010 at 6:44 pm
i agree with sw33tfanny. u must have ur head up your ass if stripping makes you feel like a goddess. u are seen as a piece of meat by men, they dont care what u look like as long as you have their favorite body part. they dont even care if you shake it well, as long as you agree to their “full service” price. get a hold of reality, b-.
and no, even though there are shady ppl in every profession, there will certainly be more women who are prostitutes who strip. Than there are women who are prostitutes who do financial work.
and u’re doing a double standard. you think you are better bc you’re a stripper and u look down on prostitutes. but hey, all us other ppl are doing legitimate work and so we look down on strippers.
ObjectiveObserver
On June 18, 2010 at 10:23 pm
I do think it is a bit hypocritical to judge prostitutes. Some would argue that prostitutes are more honest as they at least sell the real thing. It is all about perspective.
In my mind it comes down to the heart and integrity of individuals. Good people are those that sell what they say they will sell, do what they say they will do, don’t play with others feelings, are loyal to their friends/family, and have a good heart.
I will personally be tolerant of most people that have those characteristics regardless of what they do. I won’t advise or help someone become a stripper or a prostitute, but I won’t be unjustly judgemental or harsh until I know the individual.
I will say this, however. There are a lot of strippers that I have found to be very dishonest people and have a tendency to be more dishonest than average people. I have also met a few that were very good people.
ObjectiveObserver
On October 22, 2010 at 3:25 pm
The reality is that people will judge others when it suits them, and justify what they do themselves by giving it \”an exception to the rule\” status or \”different from the stereotype\” review.
Stereotypes aren\’t entirely true, but they aren\’t ALWAYS entirely wrong either.
I\’ve noticed that many strippers like to make fun of prostitutes because it costs them money or because it makes them feel less dirty. Of course, they do this because it makes them feel superior to other girls that \”do more\” with customers than they do.
Truth is, sometimes the girls that are prostitutes are more straight-forward and actually give the clients what they tell them they will give them. Some of them are just worse at lying and want to make their money without games. Other prostitutes are simply more sexually open, and others are just plain messed up and not very \”good\” people.
Then you have the category of \”self-righteous\” strippers that think what they are doing is honorable and that they are making men feel good about themselves and providing a genuine service. In some cases there may be a bit of truth to this, but in most cases they are simply taking advantage of the weakness of men without really wanting to admit it to themselves. They know very well that they often have to play games to make money and the game involves a lot of deceit. More deceit than is required in day to day life. Frankly, probably more deceit than is required by an aggressive politician.
Also remember that not all strip clubs and prostitutes are the same. I feel that you can use the following type of criteria to honestly judge whether or not a stripper, a prostitute or pretty much any other type of sales person has a decent heart or fair intentions:
1) Does the sales person intend to do the service/action he/she claims will be performed to the customer and with decent quality?
Has the sales person taken the job in question and ignored the harmful affects it has on society because he/she is in total denial and/or doesn\’t really care?
2) Does the sales person prey on easily manipulated clients that he/she can get more money out of than is generally considered a fair exchange?
3) Does the sales person badmouth other sales people unfairly while creating justifications for his/her own behaviors.
4) Does the sales person truly care about the satisfaction of the customer and feel good if the customer appreciates the service?
5) Does the sales person tell a customer honestly that they have expected too much or should not ask for things that cannot be provided?
6) Does the sales person feel superior to the customer and looks for ways to outsmart or take advantage of the customer?
7) Is the work generally about how much money can be made with minimal effort?
9) Does the sales person really know how he/she is viewed by coworkers, managers and staff?
10) What type of sales person are we talking about in general? How aggressive or pushy are they?
11) Are drugs involved? Are others forcing the person to do the job? Is low intelligence pressuring the person into the line of work?
You get the point. In my experience most strippers are more dishonest and more narcissistic than average people. Prostitutes are no worse. The sex industry fuels a lot of bad things, but it is also an outlet for men that may be too socially awkward or unattractive to meet women. Hence they get a few minutes of pleasure.
All in all, the sex-industry is not one of the best aspects of human society because it is corrupted with drugs, manipulation, greed, desperation, and potential violence.
It is what it is. Not all bad, but certainly not primarily good.
ObjectiveObserver
On October 22, 2010 at 3:26 pm
The reality is that people will judge others when it suits them, and justify what they do themselves by giving it \\\”an exception to the rule\\\” status or \\\”different from the stereotype\\\” review.
Stereotypes aren\\\’t entirely true, but they aren\\\’t ALWAYS entirely wrong either.
I\\\’ve noticed that many strippers like to make fun of prostitutes because it costs them money or because it makes them feel less dirty. Of course, they do this because it makes them feel superior to other girls that \\\”do more\\\” with customers than they do.
Truth is, sometimes the girls that are prostitutes are more straight-forward and actually give the clients what they tell them they will give them. Some of them are just worse at lying and want to make their money without games. Other prostitutes are simply more sexually open, and others are just plain messed up and not very \\\”good\\\” people.
Then you have the category of \\\”self-righteous\\\” strippers that think what they are doing is honorable and that they are making men feel good about themselves and providing a genuine service. In some cases there may be a bit of truth to this, but in most cases they are simply taking advantage of the weakness of men without really wanting to admit it to themselves. They know very well that they often have to play games to make money and the game involves a lot of deceit. More deceit than is required in day to day life. Frankly, probably more deceit than is required by an aggressive politician.
Also remember that not all strip clubs and prostitutes are the same. I feel that you can use the following type of criteria to honestly judge whether or not a stripper, a prostitute or pretty much any other type of sales person has a decent heart or fair intentions:
1) Does the sales person intend to do the service/action he/she claims will be performed to the customer and with decent quality?
Has the sales person taken the job in question and ignored the harmful affects it has on society because he/she is in total denial and/or doesn\\\’t really care?
2) Does the sales person prey on easily manipulated clients that he/she can get more money out of than is generally considered a fair exchange?
3) Does the sales person badmouth other sales people unfairly while creating justifications for his/her own behaviors.
4) Does the sales person truly care about the satisfaction of the customer and feel good if the customer appreciates the service?
5) Does the sales person tell a customer honestly that they have expected too much or should not ask for things that cannot be provided?
6) Does the sales person feel superior to the customer and looks for ways to outsmart or take advantage of the customer?
7) Is the work generally about how much money can be made with minimal effort?
9) Does the sales person really know how he/she is viewed by coworkers, managers and staff?
10) What type of sales person are we talking about in general? How aggressive or pushy are they?
11) Are drugs involved? Are others forcing the person to do the job? Is low intelligence pressuring the person into the line of work?
You get the point. In my experience most strippers are more dishonest and more narcissistic than average people. Prostitutes are no worse. The sex industry fuels a lot of bad things, but it is also an outlet for men that may be too socially awkward or unattractive to meet women. Hence they get a few minutes of pleasure.
All in all, the sex-industry is not one of the best aspects of human society because it is corrupted with drugs, manipulation, greed, desperation, and potential violence.
It is what it is. Not all bad, but certainly not primarily good.
Objective_Observer
On October 22, 2010 at 3:28 pm
The reality is that people will judge others when it suits them, and justify what they do themselves by giving it “an exception to the rule” status or “I’ve found things to be different from the stereotype” escape clause.
Stereotypes aren’t entirely true, but they aren’t ALWAYS entirely false either.
I’ve noticed that many strippers like to make fun of prostitutes because it costs them money or because it makes them feel less dirty. Of course, they do this because it makes them feel superior to other girls that “do more” with customers than they do.
Truth is, sometimes the girls that are prostitutes are more straight-forward and actually give the clients what they tell them they will give them. Some of them are just worse at lying and want to make their money without games. Other prostitutes are simply more sexually open, and others are just plain messed up and not very “good” people.
Then you have the category of “self-righteous” strippers that think what they are doing is honorable and that they are making men feel good about themselves and providing a genuine service. In some cases there may be a bit of truth to this, but in most cases they are simply taking advantage of the weakness of men without really wanting to admit it to themselves. They know very well that they often have to play games to make money and the game involves a lot of deceit. More deceit than is required in day to day life. Frankly, probably more deceit than is required by an aggressive politician.
Also remember that not all strip clubs and prostitutes are the same. I feel that you can use the following type of criteria to honestly judge whether or not a stripper, a prostitute or pretty much any other type of sales person has a decent heart or fair intentions:
1) Does the sales person intend to do the service/action he/she claims will be performed to the customer and with decent quality?
Has the sales person taken the job in question and ignored the harmful affects it has on society because he/she is in total denial and/or doesn’t really care?
2) Does the sales person prey on easily manipulated clients that he/she can get more money out of than is generally considered a fair exchange?
3) Does the sales person badmouth other sales people unfairly while creating justifications for his/her own behaviors.
4) Does the sales person truly care about the satisfaction of the customer and feel good if the customer appreciates the service?
5) Does the sales person tell a customer honestly that they have expected too much or should not ask for things that cannot be provided?
6) Does the sales person feel superior to the customer and looks for ways to outsmart or take advantage of the customer?
7) Is the work generally about how much money can be made with minimal effort?
9) Does the sales person really know how he/she is viewed by coworkers, managers and staff?
10) What type of sales person are we talking about in general? How aggressive or pushy are they?
11) Are drugs involved? Are others forcing the person to do the job? Is low intelligence pressuring the person into the line of work?
You get the point. In my experience most strippers are more dishonest and more narcissistic than average people. Prostitutes are no worse. The sex industry fuels a lot of bad things, but it is also an outlet for men that may be too socially awkward or unattractive to meet women. Hence they get a few minutes of pleasure.
All in all, the sex-industry is not one of the best aspects of human society because it is corrupted with drugs, manipulation, greed, desperation, and potential violence.
It is what it is. Not all bad, but certainly not primarily good.
Put yourself in our 7'' shoes and don't fall
On October 28, 2010 at 9:01 am
I became a dancer at 19 when I couldnt find any other job because of the economy and had to have some kind of income because I lived alone and was a full time college student. Almost 6 years later I have put myself through a bachelors degree and now earning my masters and am proud to say that I have no debts or loans and was able to save more money then any friends that I know who are my age. I had a normal childhood and was not abused. I am not into drugs and I am not an alcoholic. Being a dancer motivates me to be in great shape and believe me most dancers that I work with are in great shape and are far from ugly, they look like Barbies and Playboy models. A smart and beautiful dancer in Vegas can earn around $1000 a night or more and hundreds of women fly into Vegas on the weekends to dance. The schedule is flexable, the earning potential is great and trust me – taking your men is the last thing dancers want. Most dancers just want to make their money and go home at the end of their shift that can be a long 12hours in 7inch stilletos. Dancers are selling a fantasy, they are entertainers and instead of hating them and saying nasty things put yourself in their shoes litterally and try to dance around for 5minutes – who knows maybe you’ll get a more toned ass and your man won’t be loooking for another sight for his sore eyes
Reality again
On December 21, 2010 at 9:58 am
Guess how jenna jameson started out?
Jenny
On June 25, 2011 at 11:12 pm
Loser. You can sugercoat it all you want but Stripping will never be okay. You wanna feel good about yourself then get a make over and get a man. Stripping is such an absolute disgrace.
jillian
On September 11, 2011 at 10:49 am
Yes, there is a reason women dislike stripping. It helps to perpetuate the thought that women are seen and valued only for their looks and sexuality. With those thoughts, men continue to view women as only objects to look at (vs human beings). These thoughts do carry over into the workplace and help to perpetuate sexualizing of women and aid sexual harassment. Those of us who don’t like that opinion or attention suffer because stripping (and the like) help to continue men thinking of us only in that way. Women: Stop depending on men for your money! Stripping keeps women dependent on men for cash. Same goes to women who get pregnant to keep a man’s attention and money! Viscious cycle, esp in the south. The south blows me away with that thinking. Compared to the north, southern women are helpless and dependent on men. Generally thinking. I know there are exception.