Jealousy

I will tell you just one more time Billy Bob, I AM TRULY happy and excited for the latest ten million dollar lottery winner. It DOES NOT matter to me that she doesn’t deserve that money even half as much as I do. Yes, Billy Bob, I KNOW you have to buy tickets to win, but you know that I am one of those super intelligent people who recognize the really lousy odds of winning and thus prefer to spend my hard earned cash elsewhere.

Yes siree, my Billy Bob will probably live a long and fruitful life and will never become a squashed green glob for a couple of reasons.  One, I don’t know of a carpet cleaner strong enought to clean green gooey slime from my beautiful new living room carpet. And secondly, what if he didn’t die; what if he just got hurt a little bit and the recovered and came back with a vengeance looking for retaliation?  He knows far too many of my deepest secrets to take that chance, so for now, I think I’ll just stay friends with my Billy Bob.