Lessons Learned

Lately I have been going through many life changes and emotional ups and downs (detailed in previous articles like: A Journey to Break Free), my life has been less than stable. But as the days go by and the knowledge and acceptance of the new direction my life is heading in, tonight after many difficult months, I am starting to see the clouds through the storm. I am starting to understand with more clarity than ever before why my life is as it is right now and what lessons I needed to learn.

For most of my life, as many of you can relate, I have been very hard on myself. For most of my life, if I didn’t say the right thing, make the best choice in any given situation, and didn’t seem to be on the right rung of the success ladder, then immediately I used to and still do sometimes think there must be something wrong with me and my choices.

Time is helping me realize that life truly is about an individual journey into finding, accepting and fully loving who you are irregardless of those around you. In that; it is not a competition of who is “better” or who has what, it is about finding the best you; learning how to fully accept and love yourself regardless of where you are or what you do.

I recently finished reading a book that held much wisdom and beauty within its many pages. “The Truth Above Love” discussed in a previous article, The Truth About Love, states that there is an abundance of love around us always, but it is up to us to let it into our lives; it is up to us to have the courage and strength to believe we are worth the love that surrounds us everyday.

Tonight, I had sort of an epiphany. I realized that a big part of my journey right now is to accept myself right now, where I am at. Despite my education history, I still am out of a job searching for one that pays me enough to pay my bills, rent, and grocery needs. I still have the same car that I’ve had for many years. Over time it is breaking down. One of the side mirrors is broken, stains are beginning to accumulate on the seats and after a scary situation with a con artist it now has a less than savory message scratched into the roof: one that says “f___ y__”. (There is more to this story that I may just share one day; but I am still shocked and traumatized by it.)