Loving Your Singularity

Accept being singular as the chance to be as self centred, selfish, greedy, spoiled as is humanly possible, without penalty.  Embrace your own company with the same passion you embrace the company of others.

As you are a company of one you can do a number things you wouldn’t dare if anyone else was around. Doing these things is of benefit to YOU.  Maybe for the first time in your life you have no one to consider except yourself.

Talk to Yourself

You are alone, there’s no one there to see you talking to yourself. You know you are talking to yourself so you’re not nuts. In a conversation with yourself you dispense with obfuscation. You don’t like your boss, you think your sister looks awful, you can’t say it to their faces, but you can admit it to yourself. Actually say it. Say it to keep yourself “honest”, say it to recognize your true feelings. When you are alone, excrete. Tell yourself the truth. Don’t anaesthesise your brain with public lies, admit the raw truth, as coarsely as you wish. You’ll be surprised how much better you will feel when you give voice to the things you’ve had to suppress for so long.

Learn to love your own company

Cook exactly what you want how you want it. Don’t think, “why bother? it”s only me.’ No. It is not “only” you. It is You, the most important person in your life. You feed you the best. Don’t cheat yourself. If you like Blue Mountain coffee, buy it. Don’t think, “it”s only for me, I’ll buy instant’, as if you’re the least person in the world. Buy the best, it is for you.

Don’t think, “oh it”s too much trouble to make this…” If you don’t take the trouble to make it for yourself, why would you do it for someone else? When you clean your house, you are cleaning it for you. Don’t think it doesn’t matter if there’s dust under the bed.’ Of course it matters. You live there. You take care of you.

Be kind to yourself

Sure you’ve screwed up. So has everyone else. So, you screwed up. Torture yourself for about five minutes, then drop it. No biggie. It’s over. Past. Finished. Now find amusement in it, the Zen in it. When one door closes, another opens. Believe in that. It is usually true. Often something goes wrong, yet out of it, something goes right. See your life as various paths, and appreciate that very often a screw up in one place is an unscrew in another. Stop punishing yourself for past failures, let them go. It doesn’t matter any more.

Make Everything an Event

Going to the supermarket can be a social occasion. You leave your house dressed in your fashion, see other people, start conversations, read labels, notice new products, no reason to hurry home if you live alone, take your time.

Give Yourself Permission to go Anywhere, do Anything. If you want to drive out to the country and stay at a motel, do it. Save your money, sure, but splurge on yourself once and a while. You have probably been raised to look after others. Not to eat the last piece of pie, not to put your finger in the batter. Now it is only you. So do what you want.

Don’t punish yourself for being alone, celebrate yourself. Make yourself look as good as you possibly can. Clean out your closets, keep only those clothes you want, you like. Buy new things that you want. Don’t think, “oh I already have a shirt I can wear a few more times before it falls to threads”, or “I don”t need another jacket, I have my old…’, think, “This is For me!” Create a life for yourself, with new ideas and new places and challenges.

Being alone is never lonely if you have yourself.