This is the eighth part of my inspirational sayings: Inspirational and meaningful sayings for a better life (part one), Inspirational sayings for a meaningful life (part two), Inspirational sayings for a deeply meaningful life (part three), Inspirational sayings for a spiritual life (part four), Inspirational sayings for a deeply spiritual life (part five), Inspirational sayings for love and success (part six), Inspirational sayings for a suffering life (part seven), meaningful sayings for a meaningful life (part nine) inspirational sayings for a happy life (part ten),  inspirational sayings to combat failure (part eleven) and thought-provoking sayings for your life (part twelfth). 

Here are some sayings on “what I feel”, “what I observe”, “what I see”, “what I think” and “what I perceive”. And I do hope all these sayings can benefit you, your friends, your family, your career and any persons. Here we go..

Note: This is one of the situations of a cancer patient. To know more details on cancer, kindly visit my previous article entitled Human nightmare: the worst cancer killers.

The day when I received radiotherapy, my taste was jailed in an enclosed container.

Looking at how tremendous the cancerous cells eating my flesh, my life was thrown into a mess! The life, for me, was colorless, odorless, and tasteless.

Each time when I was put on a white mask while undergoing a surgery procedure, I imagined myself as one of the actors in a fiction movie of Darth Vader! I’d never conquered any planets, but I was badly conquered by a bundle of deadly killing cells.

When my throat was severely infected by germs, I could hardly swallow a little water and I could not even eat. This was such a torturous day that had completely defeated my spirit. I was only able to drink some Enercal drinks, and juices. My weigh went down terribly just like falling into a valley, and it went down 10kg within 7 weeks. My life was in the darkness, and I couldn’t see my way out…I could never breathe in any fresh air here….

My chest could feel an irritating pain, and occasionally this condition was accompanied by several times of vomiting. The pain really hit my spirit down, causing thoughts of suicide! My tears were rolling down unexpectedly from my cheeks and I could hardly remember how many times I’d cried in a day.  I knew, by my heart, tears had flooded my life…

No matter how hard I tried to force myself to drink, I could never have finished even a cup of water! So, could you imagine how desperately my life was? My life was indeed tasteless…

During a period of chemotherapy, my life had changed awfully. I saw the side effects: dry throat, rough and dry skin, vomiting, swelling…I started to feel uncomfortable, and this feeling was so strong that I would like to give up my life…at this state, I repeated asking myself, “what on earth was life for me…??”

My life had turned into rubbish….I was injected with certain odd fluids. My tongue was ever touching with some rubbish (medicine) that the doctor had asked me to swallow. My body was turned into a cemetery for dumping rotten materials….I was no longer a COMPLETE human, because my life was controlled by such rubbish!

Just a moment of glimpse, no need to wait any longer, I’d forgotten familiar names, faces and places. The time passed very quickly. When I passed each day, it did bring away many of my sweet memories.

The blood flowing in my body was no longer red, but it’d changed into awfully black color. There were several times that I vomited out blood, and when I vomited too much blood, I collapsed to the ground. I saw my life turning, swirling, turning and swirling, just like a tornado….

Thinking of this nightmare, I’d many sleepless nights. I saw my life as a rotten corpse. I felt that the burden that God put on to me was so huge, until I went crazy and frantic. Depression and frustration had described the condition of my life, and I began to ponder, “What on earth for me to live for more days here? I see no hope to survive even for a few moments…”

My mood burst out like a volcano…I couldn’t even control my temper. My mind went crazy. I used to see another of mine floating in the air. I was scared, I was sacred for being punished in such a cruel way…I accused God for being unfair to me. Fear and illusion were soon creeping into my mind. I was never had laugh, it was really suffered for me to continue this journey of life…When you saw me, I’d cried for a lifetime, even I was just crying for an hour…

In front of this deadly disease, I became so fragile and was stricken to succumb so easily…I’d wished to understand my wounded heart, and I’d even wished to know why stars didn’t shine in my path. But always painful feeling brought me back to graveyard…Cries of pain left me helplessly…I’d been here trying my very best to alleviate the evil, but I was unable to do that, for I too suffer…and so I let my soul to be tortured for many countless days…

Upon the decision to release my soul, I heard a voice from my inner heart. The voice was gentle enough to comfort my painful feeling. A flash of light was shining through the window, forming a circle ring on the wall near to the bed where I was sleeping on….

I saw the light. I saw the rainbow. The light had lit my life up. That was no reason for me to be scared. I knew that God was coming to inspire me…to lift me up…

No matter how my emotion was- good or bad- the sun is still shining brightly there. My life has been tasteless, but later I become aware that living happily at each moment can help me face my disease better. With strong desire strength to survive in an extremely painful situation, I started observing miracles come into my life. For me, it was just like a release from the jail the disease had turned my body into.   

The longings for peace, the search for health, and the unbearable sufferings, have never brought me ecstasy to cure my loneliness…In compassion to seek for love, I’m still waiting for love to walk into my life…

Time can destroy everything. Time can also cause me to succumb to death. Time has indeed shredded my soul into pieces. I’ve to be strong, and I need to live with courage and dignity.

One sunny day, one stormy night and one disastrous day, all challenge my life. One snail’s pace, one single day, are all kept to change. After crying, I should learn to appreciate my face. Past, now, tomorrow are alternately coming…

This disease has woke me up…it doesn’t mean to destroy any hopes, but it reflects many roles of stages- happy, struggling, screaming, and irritating- that are combined with unexplainable expressions, screening vividly in front of my eyes. I’ve learnt much from this script…I thank God for getting me out of this unpleasant place…

Depression, anger, uneasy, and negative thoughts as well, can’t just curb my worst situation from raging wildly.

Heading towards a recovery, it teaches me to care for my health. I used to stay out all night, smoke, have fast foods (hamburger, nuggets, hot dogs and etc.) as my main meal, hated to exercise my body, eat more meats but less fiber foods; and due to my working environment, I drank less water and even was constipated for weeks. This unhealthy lifestyle has much taught me a good lesson.

A good medicine is actually found close to me. It’s my love, compassion and courage that have led me to recovery and finally I have my health restored.

Note: The person I described here was not me, it was a story of a patient that had inspired me to write this piece.

Thanks for taking your precious time to read this piece

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