Often times we find ourselves thinking negative thoughts, either about ourselves, other people, even sometimes our loved ones. Many of us are so used to these negative thoughts, we don’t even realize we’re having them anymore. It’s just as natural to us as brushing our hair everyday.

These negative thoughts usually lead to negative feelings, about ourselves and about others around us. Without even realizing it, sometimes we find ways to confirm these negative thoughts, so eventually we grow to believe that they must be true. It may get to a point where we don’t have a single positive thought in our head about ourselves or particular loved ones.

Due to our negative thoughts and feelings, we’re incapable of accepting compliments, and automatically believe someone is fibbing if they try to contradict our thoughts. For example, if you’ve spent your whole life telling yourself you’re fat, even if you aren’t, you’ve probably grown to believe this negative thought. Then someone may pay you a compliment by saying how thin you look, and you won’t believe them. You’ll think they’re just saying this to be nice.

Negative thinking is one of the main culprits of low self esteem, low self worth, low self respect etc. etc. Sure many of these issues start in child hood, but it begins a lifetime of negative thinking, and unless we break the cycle, we’ll never have a positive view of ourselves or those around us.

I am personally a woman who suffers low self esteem and negative thinking. Like many others, I’m unaware of my negative thinking, it’s just a part of my daily life, just the same as breathing. I know I’m doing it but not making a concious effort.

I’ve recently become aware of the fact that my negative thinking is not only affecting myself, but also my relationships with others around me. I think negatively about the relationships, thinking to myself “That person can’t truly love me, or find me beautiful.” This negative thinking spirals out of control and I begin to truly believe I’m not loved by anyone. This is mostly due to the fact that I have low self esteem and continue to tell myself I’m not worthy of love.

Believing you’re not capable of being loved will of course lead you to act in an unloving way. If you’re not loved, how can you love back?

When they say “It’s all in your head” they truly mean just that. The problems we have with ourselves and our relationships are all due to our negative thinking. Only we have the power to break this cycle and live fulfilling lives once more.

It starts by negating every negative thought we have in our heads, starting with ourselves. Yes, it’s going to be difficult at first, especially since you won’t believe the opposite of your usual negative thoughts. But keep in mind, the only reason you believe your negative thoughts is because you forced yourself to do so.

Whatever your negative thought is, just tell yourself the opposite.

If your thought is: I am fat.
Tell yourself: I am thin. (even if you aren’t, thinking thin never hurt anyone)

If your thought is: I am ugly.
Tell yourself: I am beautiful.

If your thought is: I’m not worthy of love, attention, affection… etc.
Tell yourself: I’m worthy of getting what I want and need.

The more you think about each positive thought, and the more you confirm each thought, the more you’ll believe it. Soon you’ll have a better view of yourself, more self respect and self esteem. You’ll also find yourself to be more confident and more successful in your relationships and other aspects of your life.

You’re the only one who has the power to change. It starts with you.