Most of my life while I was growing up I was always aware of what other people thought, how other people viewed the things I did or said, to an almost painful degree. I’ve finally come to a compromise with myself.There are those who say that life is much too short to pay attention to what others think of you.These are usually seen as “unprincipled”. Then there are those who submit to the “life without order” is chaos theory. Order, obviously meaning rules, set up by people who believe they know what’s best for everyone, aka “principled” people. I think both these groups of thought are correct. Believing fully in either one means being an extremist, which is undoubtedly not the way to go.

In the society I grew up in, heavily influenced by religion the rules for being a “good girl” were:

1. No cussing (Something I was rather good at, to Mom’s horror)
2. No smoking (We’re talking tobacco here)
3. Or drinking (Alcohol obviously)
4. No hanging out in places of dubious repute(this meaning discotheques and night clubs)
5. No fraternizing with the fellas(Something i ignored completely-boys have always been my best friends)
6. No wearing of inappropriate outfits(Use your imagination) or applying of war-paint(in form of makeup)

Any deviation from the above-mentioned behaviour was met with gasps of terror, malevolent glares and months of whispers(it was a small town-one scandal could sustain the gossip-mill for years)

The funniest thing is that the girls who adhered(on the surface) the most to these rules went on to break them the fastest and the most. It’s the “freedom-at-last” syndrome. The minute they left the nest they went berserk. The parents, broken leashes in hand, wondered where they had gone wrong.

It all goes to show that principles are fine and dandy as long as they are your own, and not just an attempt to appear “good” in the eyes of society. The most miserable people are those who live trapped by social opinion, without standards of their own, living lives ruled by the standards of stronger people.