Pushing Limits: Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

1. Make your own mark.

You learned about the merits of The Buddy System in Kindergarten: You have someone to hold hands with and share lunchbox with, and when you chuck your food, you have Teacher to run to. More than a decade later, you’re still stuck with the system. You need a companion for everything, and you’d rather not do something than do it alone.

Your battle plan: Discover the thrill of doing things on your own. Go shopping alone (no more waiting as your sister or friends tries on 20 tops), have lunch by yourself (no more debating over where to buy food), and join an org even if none of your friends want (goodbye, pretending-to-love-the-dance-troupe-just-cause-your-friends-in-it).

The truth: When you start doing things by yourself, you start thinking for yourself. Popular interest isn’t always what’s best for you–and declaring that Twilight is overrated when everyone thinks it’s literary masterpiece shows confidence in your own choices. Standing by your opinions prepares you to face bigger things: defending your boyfriend when your girls diss the way he dresses, voting for the underdog in the national elections, and believing in yourself enough to start your own business even when nobody else thinks you can.

2. Give and accept compliments.

In your hands, a compliment is like a light saber–you don’t know what to do with it, so you try to hide it behind your back, which would probably work except that,, uhmm, it’s a light saber. Every compliment thrown your way is met with a false-humility-laden “of course not”, “oh, really?” or an “actually, I’m quite (insert insult to self here).” It follows that you suck at complimenting other people: you think it comes off as “plastic” each time you attempt to.

Your battle plan: Just say thank you; it’s really not that hard. Then, return the favor by finding something you like about the other person, and actually saying it out loud.

The truth: The world would be a much better place if someone affirmed someone else’s worth everyday. Learning the art of giving and taking compliments leads to The Greater Art of Reciprocity: giving advice and gaining a friend, giving time and effort and reaping recognition, giving respect and receiving it in return.