I was talking to my brother on New Year’s day and the inevitable question, “What’s your New Year’s Resolution?” came up.  I vowed that this year I would lose the 20 pounds that I gained when I quit smoking (which was LAST year’s resolution).  He said that he was going to use his New Year’s waiver and would think about what he wanted to do for the next 31 days before committing.  I was completely unaware that there was such a thing as a New Year’s waiver – but he assures me that it flashes across the screen subliminal-message style when the ball drops on TV at midnight.  I have no proof that this isn’t the case, and so I’ll check up with him early in February to see if he’s made up his mind yet. 

If you also are having difficulty finding your New Year’s resolution, here are some suggestions that I came up with that he and everyone else should do at least once.

1. Give someone in need something they don’t expect when they don’t expect it.
Every year at about November 15th the people ringing bells for change show up outside every store-front, cards come in the mail requesting donations for various causes, and toy collection barrels line the entry way of various businesses.  For about 6 weeks of the year, everyone feels like giving a little something – which is great, don’t get me wrong.  But what about the other 46 weeks of the year?  This year, break the mold and do something great for your favorite group or charity not out of holiday obligation, but just because you feel like it.  Volunteer for a day of neighborhood clean-up, delivery of meals for the disabled, fundraising for your favorite charity or reading at a local school.  Remember that groups are often short-handed and under-funded year round – not just during the holiday push.  Bonus for you: you will get to meet new people, and get to feel appreciated just for being you and showing up.

2. Call one family member one day a week.
Does someone in your family utter the phrase, “Why don’t you call more often” EVERY time you happen to remember to call or bump into them at a family reunion?  You are not alone.  For those of us with more than one or two family members who are tolerable (or even like-able under some circumstances) it is very easy to feel like there isn’t time to call everyone on the family tree.  I myself am guilty of neglecting to remember to call my Grandma S., Aunt B. and Cousin L. and pay the price every time I do end up talking to them at some family function.  It’s not that I don’t love each of them, or that the sound of their voice causes me emotional distress. It’s simply that when I sit down to make the telephone rounds I don’t have time to talk to EVERYONE about my latest ventures.  So, a simple fix – make one phone call to one relative once a week and suddenly you will become every one’s favorite.  Bonus for you: you will end up being the one in the know about all the family gossip and will also find yourself receiving fewer ceramic garden gnomes and more personal gifts during the holidays next year. 

3. Find something about your job to love.
You know that guy over in accounting who sits in his 3×3 cubicle with no windows for 40 hours every week who just seems happy to be alive even though you KNOW his job sucks worse than yours?  Why aren’t you that happy to be alive?  What the heck is wrong with that dude?  Let me tell you: he has found something that he LIKES about being at work.   It probably isn’t even anything big.  Maybe the cafeteria carries his favorite brand of cereal.  Maybe he got himself some personalized post-it-notes.  Maybe he made friends with the guy in the cubicle next to his and they are secretly plotting your demise.  Whatever it is (and I do hope it isn’t your demise), it’s probably something little that makes the day more bearable.  You too can find something to be happy about during your work-day to make the day go by more pleasantly.  Bonus for you: although you will be met with some scepticism at first, overall people like working with other people who make the day less tense.  Be prepared for the positive feedback and more relaxed environment ahead of you.

4. Reconnect with someone from your past.
You know that friend who you forgot to call when you moved until eight months afterwards when you realized that you hadn’t heard from them or seen them and then when you finally took the time to call them their number had been disconnected because THEY had the audacity to also move and forget to call you?  Well – that was two years ago and these days there is almost no excuse for losing touch with someone who used to be your partner in crime.  Between available networking sites, free online classified ads and online classmate registries there are tons of ways to reconnect with that person who you used to know.  Bonus for you: as long as there was not an unsolvable rift between you when you lost touch, this is an easy and often nostalgic way to get back into or expand your social circle. 

5. Say “Hi” to one stranger every day.
Have you ever felt like everyone around you has become unfriendly and unapproachable?  Well guess what – you’re not the only one.  The truth is that most of us are so consumed by what we are doing when we are out and about that we forget that there are other interesting people on this planet, and hence forget to interact with those milling about around us.  You would be surprised at how many people at your local grocery store, gas station and post office are thinking of how unfriendly and unapproachable everyone around THEM has become (that includes you).  All it takes is for you to be your own catalyst for social change.  Take a deep breath, swallow your pride and say hello to one stranger every day. You might be surprised at who you meet.  Bonus for you: talking to strangers will make you feel more confident about yourself.  Believe it or not, the more people you get the guts to talk to the more approachable you will seem to those around you, and the more people will start to approach YOU.

6. Eat out only one time a week.
I’m not conducting any studies and I’m not a statistic wizard, but I do know that I eat out WAY more than I should.  And it adds up – not just financially, but also on my hips, thighs and ankles.  The majority of the people I know have reached a point where we have stopped taking the 10 minutes to pack a lunch before we go to work, we get home and are too tired to put together a meal, we’re at the mall and the food-court begins calling our name… We all need to stop the madness.  If you eat out on your lunch break five days a week and manage to find a place where you can do so for $5 a meal, and also go out to dinner two nights a week because you just couldn’t face the stove after a long day of work and so you spend $10 for each of those meals, you are spending $2,340 a year on dining out.  That’s right, over $2,000 on what is probably burgers, fries and pizza by the slice.  Wouldn’t your wallet (and stomach) be happier if you just went out once a week and ate at a nice, sit down restaurant where they sell real food?  Think about it: you could order yourself a $30 meal (think lobster tail, salmon fillets or a nice cut of steak) once a week and STILL save over $700 a year.  So start packing a lunch daily and begin making dinners a couple nights a week that are large enough to store the left-overs to enjoy again.  Bonus for you: People love people who cook.  Use the money you save to spring for some cooking lessons at a local community college, and maybe upgrade your pots & pans.  It will be money well-spent.

7. Stop talking on the phone while driving, standing in line and milling about in public.
OK, here is a big one.  Cell phones have made communicating with each other amazingly convenient regardless of where we are (see #2 – you really don’t have a good excuse).  The problem is, that now it is TOO convenient, and we are all blissfully unaware of how irritating our conversational skills have become to those around us.  Believe me – you can’t drive in a straight line when you’re arguing with your spouse on speaker phone, the cashier at the grocery store doesn’t want to hear you explaining the symptoms of your current ailment to your doctor as she is working, and no one on the corner of 5th and Main cares to hear you setting your next manicure appointment.  PLEASE let these calls go to voicemail (that’s what it was invented for) and return these calls in the privacy of your PARKED car, your home, private office or off in an empty area where no one can hear you.  Bonus for you: you will become a more alert driver, will be able to achieve resolution #5 more easily and will find that the people around you hate you much, much less.